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Memorial Keepers(2)
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Sandra Smith (Jeffs)
November 14th, 1944 - May 28th, 2021
November 14th, 1944 - May 28th, 2021
Sandra was emphatic she was not going to have a funeral! She hated the sadness of such events. Under pressure though, she did agree to a small gathering of family and friends in the strict understanding that it was to be a happy event, a celebration of a life lived to the full.
At first glance Sandra was the most respectable of ladies, quietly living her life to the highest standards. No one kept house quite like her. She was an outstanding homemaker, setting the highest standards. There were all the homey touches too - the plants, the garden, the photos, the knick-knacks picked up from the charity shops she worked in and of course her beloved elephants! The accolade that would have counted most to Sandra - her own mother would have been very, very proud of her.
Sandra put family at the top of her list of priorities, always ahead of herself. For 66 years, from our first meeting on the school bus aged 13 and 11 respectively, through 57 years of marriage she was there for me. She fully supported my wish to leave England and every step thereafter. She put more effort into supporting me through all my business endeavours than you could ever imagine.
Some may say she was a saint!
She was a wonderful mother to her two children Steve and Linda and an amazing Nana to her six grandchildren, Cory, Hilary, Alexander, Hannah, Aaron and Lewis. Generous with her time, energy and love, always working to make her family feel special. She was fiercely loyal and kind and supportive.
Sandra was an avid volunteer, working tirelessly for the Hospital Auxiliary, the hospital gift shop and the thrift shop.
Should Sandra find herself with any time to spare she would fill it with her hobbies - knitting and crochet, crosswords and puzzles, or carefully tending her plants and garden. She often reminisced about her much loved father and his passion for his allotment: he would have been very proud of his daughter too.
But look a little closer, peel back the layers and behind this quietly respectable lady there was a fierceness, a strength; a sense of adventure and a wicked sense of humour. With just a few words or a slight facial expression she could convey so much!
Sandra had enormous strength. This was a lady who cared for her terminally ill mother when she was just 17 years old herself. This was the lady who upped and left her home, her family, her country and, in a great leap of faith, moved 5000 miles to Canada before her 21st birthday (despite our respective dads’ disapproval)! A lady who had no alternative but to hand over her first child to be adopted. The lady who set up her own hairdressing business at the age of just 21. She constantly battled physical injuries sustained after a car accident at the age of 35, and never gave in to those difficulties without a fight.
Whether emigrating, moving, flying into the wilds, camping or making home in the remote Chilcotins, she would always give it her very best.
Sandra had a wicked sense of humour too. She may have lived in Canada for over 65 years, but she never lost that streak of Merseyside running through her, a strong sense of humour which was never far below the surface, laughing uproariously when something amused her.
And of course Sandra loved to socialise. There were the lively, well attended parties of our earlier married lives.
The ladies ‘Birthday Group’ lunches which eventually had to be taken at home as the drinks bill gradually got out of hand!
Most recently there were much anticipated lunches with friends at local wineries here in the Okanagan, and the hosting of auxiliary dinners or neighbourhood get-togethers.
She was always ready to offer ‘wine and appies’ to visitors, but possibly at her happiest with a houseful of family sitting down to one of her roast dinners.
Right to the end she didn’t want to miss out on a party! Just a couple of days before she passed, she made sure she was right in the centre of a family day filled with sunshine, wine in hand. If she had any say in it, she wasn’t going to miss a minute!
So, as Sandra requested, let’s smile and raise a glass to a wonderful Wife, a devoted Mother and Nana, a dear Friend …. and a passionate elephant collector
Ian
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Tributes
Share a favorite memory, send condolences, and honor Sandra’s life with a heartfelt message.
Hilary Smith
Hi Nana. It would have been your 77th birthday today. I've lost count how many times I have wanted to pick up the phone and call you just to chat. I miss you so much and I know you wouldn't be too pleased to hear but there are often moments of tears whenever I want to call you. It's okay to cry though :) Despite how awful this year has been, losing you and Grandma, things are looking good achievement-wise. I completed my thesis like you always told me I would. Damien and I are also starting the process to buy a house and I so wish I could send you links for input. Thank you for giving me so many wonderful memories. I know most grandmothers are excellent but you really.. you really exceeded the standard. Thank you for being such a wonderful Nana. I love you, I miss you. Happy Birthday. We will be okay.
Graham Ian Smith
I was fortunate enough to go and visit Aunti Sand and Uncle Ian in 1986 -we where 18 i believe Steve?-In Aldergrove I was welcomed with such warmth and love and made to feel at home instantly ,it was incredible how aunti could look after us all with such seemingly effortless grace. my fondest memory of Aunti from that time is one morning there was Aunti in her dressing gown doing the ironing but she was also watching her soaps on tv and had the radio tuned in so she would be ready to call in for the competitions. Wow In my mind what a warm, wonderful, limitlessly talented woman you have always been . You are loved and missed by this nephew but will forever be fondly remembered .
Sue Mcfarlane
Just read all the tributes to our dear friend Sandra and felt the same about her as all of you did. It would have been through Airshow that we met Sandra and Ian. I too went to Reno with Sandra and she brought me tea in bed. You go to Reno to gamble but she agreed to go shopping with me one day. I was one of the 10 of us “Birthday Group” ladies and talk about laugh !! It was at one of the luncheons that we heard Sandra had a daughter, boy was that a beautiful surprise. What a better place to meet Linda but at one of our luncheons. Some of the pictures you see in the photo gallery were sent by me so I do not have any more to add. Sandra, every time I see a hummingbird I will think of you. Love, Sue McFarlane xx
Nic Smith
I was lucky enough to visit Uncle Ian and Aunty Sandra at their home in Summerland and have very fond memories of sharing a glass of wine sat on the veranda watching the forrest fires across the valley, admittedly it was probably an earlier start to drinking wine than I was used too but that was one of Aunty Sandra's life lessons I have definitely kept with me :-). An amazing, elegant lady with a natural warmth and wicked sense of humour. xxx
Aaron
Unfortunately I didn’t get to spend as much time with Sandra as those who have posted here, but I’m overjoyed to read through everyone’s experiences and find out more! Every sentiment here I repeat and am glad to share in this celebration of life!
Diana Smith
Sandra was my mother-in-law. From the day I first met her (New Year’s Day, 1990) she welcomed me and my ‘baby’ Cory (19 months) into her life with open arms. I was very nervous about meeting Steve’s parents for the first time. Especially considering that we had been up all night at a New Years party, and were wearing the same clothes from the night before. I needn’t have worried. Sandra plied us with hangover Ceasars and made sure I was spared any of Ian’s oh-so-witty, put-you-on-the-spot humour. She was so excited to know that I had a baby and wanted to know all about him. I told her ‘He’s not a baby anymore!”. At 19 months he was already so ‘rambunctious’ and had been running around for a whole year already, that I couldn’t think of him as a ‘baby’. Nevertheless, Sandra took him into her ‘fold’ as if he was her own grandchild, and never once differentiated him from our other two children, Hilary And Alexander, who followed 4 and 5.5 years later. We had the privilege of living right next door to ‘Nana and Grandad’ (actually on their property) when our children were born, until they moved to Penticton in 2000 when our kids were 12, 7 and 5. Sandra was the most doting of grandmothers. Hilary would take herself through the gate to Nana’s house every day, from a year-old onwards. Sandra loved her daily visits. Although I didn’t know it at the time, it meant everything to her to be able to be help raise this baby girl, as she had had to miss out on raising her own daughter, (Linda) Ann. Sandra was so generous with her time and gentle with her mother-in-law advice. Like many of you have said, her housekeeping skills were immaculate. Although I could never match her level of upkeep, she always gave me fair warning when she was coming over, so that I had the chance to at least look like I was keeping a tidy home. She was never judgemental and always kind-hearted. (I think of her every time I put the toothpaste cap back on the tube. Sharing a bathroom with her in Reno brought it to my attention that I was lacking in that area. Steve, I’m sorry that more things didn’t rub off on me!) It’s incredible what this lady accomplished in her life, despite the endless behind the scenes heartbreaks, car accidents, arthritis, and everything that’s happened over the past few years. She never complained or let any of those setbacks interfere with her desire to live her life to the fullest. She ‘just got on with it’. Sandra introduced me to fun things like, Reno, Keno, white wine, Hangar 13…and we shared a love of flowers, candles, shopping with 2 or 3 kids in tow..and Bingo! Although she and Ian moved up to Summerland, and away from their family ‘on the coast’, it was while living there that Sandra was given the greatest gift she could ever have hoped for. She was reunited with her daughter, Linda, and in an instant, doubled the size of her family. Her heart was full. It was beautiful to see, and oh, so heartwarming. At long last, she had her beautiful baby girl back in her life To see her joy as she got to know her daughter, her son-in-law, Tom, and three grandchildren, Hannah, Aaron and Lewis, made us so happy for her, as she deserved this wonderful outcome. As I sit here in Summerland, in Sandra’s home and write this, I look around me and see Sandra everywhere. I can recall the stories she would tell me, of how she got this little knickknack (elephant or otherwise) or where that photo was taken…and through the window I see her hummingbird feeders and the red and white geraniums. I also see, sitting at the outdoor table, the three people who were closest to her. Her beloved husband Ian, whom she has adored since she was 11, her lost-but-found again beloved daughter Linda, and her always wonderful, loving son Stephen, all feeling the same loss and pain. It is to them that I say: “Take comfort in each other, stay close to each other and know that her love for you was so great, that through you, her legacy will live on. She will be remembered in your hearts and the hearts of all who knew her, forever.” I raise my glass to Sandra, a woman of great strength, integrity, honour and capacity for love. You will be missed and lovingly remembered by all those left behind. Cheers
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