Robert Carlson

Robert Arthur Carlson 2/1/1938-3/19/2020  

Son of Maja and Sven Carlson, who migrated to the US from Sweden, Robert was born in Detroit MI, and graduated from Cooley High School. He attended Augustana College in Rock Island IL, and was ordained as a Lutheran minister. After serving churches in Mount Vernon and Tacoma WA, Pastor Bob got an MSW from the University of Washington and began a long and successful career as a psychotherapist. When the men’s movement began, he was an influential voice in the Seattle area, and co-led a Men’s Wisdom Council for many years. Robert loved his work as a psychotherapist and he cared deeply for his patients. He practiced in several offices in Bellevue and his most beloved office was in a little house which he called Centering Point, also the name of his practice.   

Robert and Patricia were married in 1959 and had two children, Dean Sven and Dawn Michelle. He had a second wife, Marjorie, and lived in Bellevue, WA. Later his soul mate, Phyllis Ray, danced into his life. They married and he became a stepfather to her adult children, Dan and Dave. Robert and Phyllis celebrated 30 years of marriage, during which time they lived in a duplex on Lake Washington, an Artist Loft in Georgetown, a house in Kirkland, a condo in Langley, and eventually moved to Mexico.

Robert was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2015. He passed away in Chapala, Mexico, at La Casa Nostra, a group home for the elderly, where he received  excellent and loving care. In 2018 Phyllis and Robert moved to Chapala to get the affordable care he needed. He passed away peacefully and in a state of acceptance and gratefulness.   

He was proud of his Swedish heritage and was an active member of Seattle’s Swedish Club.  At Christmas, we had to grit our teeth and dance around the dinner table, singing a Scandinavian holiday song with animal sounds and actions. The Swedish meatballs, red cabbage, pickled herring, mashed swedes and glogg made up for the embarrassing rituals.

If you were to tell Robert to go fly a kite, he happily would! In addition to kite flying, he was an avid dancer (mastering every genre from waltz to swing to Cajun), the family’s Santa Claus, and celebrator of all birthdays and accomplishments of his children and grandchildren. He was a fun and creative event planner, creating birthday outings centered around his grandchildren’s interests…. always stretching them just a bit….and expecting them to at least taste something they had never tasted before. He drove everyone crazy with his expectations of personal check-ins at all family events by putting everyone on the spot.

He loved his family deeply and asked about each person until the very end. He loved CBS Sunday Morning and watched it every week. He was always up for adventure and loved to try new things. He loved the Sounders, had all the gear, and would march to the match with tears in his eyes. He had a special thing for neckties and had a huge collection. He tried to wear a different combination of clothes every day. He was a dandy. Robert loved Sea Nest, the cabin they owned on Long Beach Peninsula, and visited every month for 12 years,  where he perfected his sport kite moves.   

Robert loved jazz, especially the saxophone, and was a fan of The Moody Blues, Harry Chapin and the Beatles.  Robert enjoyed what he called “soul wanderings.” Inspired by his middle name, Arthur, he made a personal quest to Cornwall, England to commune with the essence of King Arthur and his Camelot.  He also traveled to Canada, the Washington mountains and coast, and Falkoping, Sweden where his parents originated. 

He was a devotee of his beloved Baba, Muktananda, the founder of Siddha Yoga, and felt drawn to a spiritual path.  He valued conversation and shared opinions.  In the 1990s, he founded the Third Sunday Salon, inviting all comers to join in his living room, put questions into a hat, and discuss them in an environment of acceptance and safety. Two of his favorite quotes accompanied each monthly invitation:  “A good question is a great teacher” and “Democracy requires a tolerance for differences.”  His Facebook page shared another favorite quote: “The more we try to change, the more we stay the same. The more we accept what is, the more we are open to change.” Conversations with Robert were always stimulating.  

Robert is survived by his wife, Phyllis, his first wife Patricia, his second wife, Marjorie, children Dean (Paul Barry) and Dawn (Ken Rathbun), granddaughter Sarah Rathbun, God-son Terry Muir (DeAnna), wife Phyllis Ray, stepsons Dan (Sheri) and Dave (Erin), and step-grandchildren Jesse and Shelby.  

He was one hell of a guy, never a dull moment, not a boring bone in his body.