Neil Arthur Stroul

Dr. Neil Stroul died peacefully on October 9th, 2021 after an unmercifully short and aggressive battle with cancer. 

For a man that spoke so much about being the author of your own life, words seem so small and inadequate when trying to describe the impact he had on so many, from friends to family to his large community of colleagues.  Neil walked through life with self-awareness, curiosity, compassion, and, as he always took pride in, a renegade spirit. His loss will be felt by the countless people to whom he has served as a guide, a rock, a protector, a teacher, and a listener.

Raised in Randolph, MA, Neil’s personality stood out at a young age. He used his devilish sense of humor, brilliant mind, and natural understanding of human behavior, even as a teenager, to frequently play pranks on cousins and his sister. He was a cherished little brother and grew up to be “the cool uncle.” Neil received his Bachelor’s degree from the University of Massachusetts, a Master’s from Northeastern University, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Florida State University where he became an avid Seminole fan. Although he moved from Massachusetts after graduate school, Neil always remained tied to his home state. Despite the distance, he was a devoted brother, uncle, cousin and son; he also remained loyal to his roots with his fandom, always dropping everything to watch any Celtics, Bruins, Red Sox, or Patriots game.  

Neil utilized his natural compassion and undeniable intelligence throughout his over 40 years in professional coaching. He acted as a coach, a teacher, a mentor, and, always, a learner. He encouraged his clients and his peers to recognize the story they had written about their own life and to understand their power in controlling the narrative. Not one to mince words, he was known for “cutting through the bullshit” and getting to what’s important. He was constantly curious, striving to understand and learn more about both his clients and the field of coaching. His devotion to pushing the field led him to one of his largest professional partnerships. 

As one of the founders of the Georgetown Leadership Coaching Program, his input has helped to shape much of the structure and coursework over the last 20 years. He was tasked with introducing each cohort to the program because of the captivating nature of his teaching that challenged students to break down and discard their old ways of thinking and urged them to write new stories. As an adjunct professor and mentor at Georgetown and numerous other universities, Neil had a distinct talent in boiling down complicated theories in ways that can be applied in practice. He encouraged and inspired students to author their own lives. He never left his mentor role in the classroom, always offering open invitations to students to meet for coffee after programs ended. Many of these accepted invitations developed into decade-long friendships. Neil also jumped into a new creative venture two years ago, co-founding the University of Buffalo program.

Neil was also a safe-haven for his family. He was loving, gentle, and, to no one’s surprise, insightful. As a father, he constantly expressed pride in his children, from the biggest milestone to the smallest victory. He made them feel safe to mess up or struggle, even if it meant things would be harder for him. He met the love of his life in 2007, Leslie, after having been set up by a blind date from a coaching colleague. Neil and Leslie have had the chance to travel the world, attend weekly concerts (pre-pandemic, of course), become movie addicts, delight in grandkids, and indulge in lots of good food, art, and friends. 

Neil will often be remembered for his authenticity and the comforting, clarifying guidance he gave so generously to those who asked. Although kind, he was never inauthentic. The true gift of Neil’s time and love was knowing that he did nothing he didn’t want to do. His love was intentional, making it feel that much more special to those lucky enough to receive it. To his loved ones, he was known for offering life-altering advice, seeming to solve years-long problems in minutes. A simple meal with Neil would bring a new insight. He seemed to see you more clearly than you saw yourself. 

In his quieter hours, Neil embraced a self-aware self-indulgence. While he rejoiced in learning new things and traveling the world, he found equal pleasure in days spent on the couch, watching Marvel movies, or a simple snack of pigs in a blanket and Ding Dongs. He surrounded himself with equal parts mementos from trips abroad and Boston sports memorabilia. His taste in food was, admittedly, that of a 12-year old boy and his humor often wasn’t much older. The discrepancy between his academic mind and sometimes childish tastes never worried Neil though, as he was never one to follow the rules. 

Neil’s story is one of many triumphs, some hardships, and lots of love. Throughout it, he was always in control of the narrative. As he taught, he was the hero of his own story and, in his journey, all he met were left better by knowing him. We are left with a drive to embody an authenticity that could make him proud. We were all so lucky to be characters in Neil's story.