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Michael Thomas Grover
August 19th, 1982 - January 10th, 2021
August 19th, 1982 - January 10th, 2021
"Love is so easy to give. It’s the thing that we have that you can give, and it spreads, and if you do it with joy and laughter, I think you’ve created a really good thing." --Michael Grover
Michael Thomas Grover was born 8-19-82 and lived in Shoreview, MN until moving to Chicago after high school. He was baptized at Trinity Lutheran Church by his grandfather, Rev. DeLloyd Wippich. He was confirmed at Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran Church and participated in church youth group and attended T.E.C. (teens encounter Christ). Michael graduated from Mounds View High School in 2001 and participated in many activities including varsity football, varsity basketball, JV baseball, band, jazz band, student council, national honor society, and was a National Merit Scholar.
Michael, better know as Mike or Grover, attended Northwestern University in Evanston, IL, where he studied Structural Engineering and was an active member of the Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity, where he was beloved for his distinctively Groverian sense of humor and for surprisingly soft and cheerfully given bro hugs. He earned his master’s degree from the Illinois Institute of Technology in 2012. He spent his career as a structural designer for several prominent architecture/engineering firms in Chicago. Most recently with Rubinos & Mesia Engineers, Inc.
A romantic at heart, Mike found his true soulmate and eternal advocate in his wife. Lea.While a Lutheran, carnivores engineer and a Jewish, vegetarian writer may sound more like the start of a joke than a love story, their mutual passion for social justice, quirky humor, and all things Harry Potter were the foundation for a rock-solid marriage that became an illustration of true love for all who know them. Their family grew in time, welcoming twin girls Deborah and Sophia in 2009, and later Rivka in 2012.
Being a parent came naturally to Mike who loved every minute of his time with his girls and selflessly gave of himself to provide for them. Mike’s wit easily lent itself to the purveyance of dad jokes, and his 6’ 4” stature provided growing girls with the perfect playground for climbing.
Michael Grover was, and is, beloved by many people, and each can give you a different reason. Some were taken in by his gentleness and good humor; others by his perseverance and strength; still others would tell you that his charming smile put them at ease, or his intellect blew them away. What those who knew him can agree on is that his presence in their lives, whether daily, monthly, or less frequently met, will be dearly missed.
Mike is survived by his wife, Lea Grover, daughters Deborah, Sophia, and Rivka Grover; parents Tom and Donnelle Grover; sister Carolyn (Daniel) Adamson, nieces Isabelle and Madelyn Adamson; in-laws, Nathaniel and Trina Borenstein, Miriam (Daniel) Mora and nephew Judah, and two cats he never wanted but grew to accept.
He was preceded in death by his grandparents, DeLloyd and Dorothy Wippich and Gordon and Janet Grover.
Those wishing to make donations in Mike’s memory should consider the Endurance Scholarship (https://endurancescholarship.wixsite.com/scholarship), or Planned Parenthood (https://www.plannedparenthood.org/get-involved/other-ways-give).
A Go Fund Me operation has been set up to help defray the medical, hospice, funeral, and aftercare costs to the Grover Family, for those who wish to contribute in that fashion: https://www.gofundme.com/f/love-for-the-grover-family?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet
Listen to Mike on StoryCorps Chicago in 2018: “I Will Die Someday…And That Does Not Scare Me”
And again in 2020: ‘Not Every Death Is A Tragedy’
Create an event page to coordinate a gathering in honor of Michael
Tributes
Share a favorite memory, send condolences, and honor Michael’s life with a heartfelt message.
Ellen Hoiland
I did not know Michael personally, but have known him through his parents loving eyes. Leo Tolstoy said, “Everything depends on upbringing.” Tom and Donelle raised a loving son who was a good human being. They supported both their children emotionally, socially, spiritually and intellectually. I know only of a fraction of the time they gave to Michael in his athletic pursuits. Michael’s becoming a loving son, brother, friend, husband and father was by no mistake. He was groomed to be a man of greatness and humility. His courage was remarkable and he leaves a legacy of strength & love. His has surely welcomed him into His heavenly throne.
Lesley Kozin
This is me with the Grovers the last year I was in Chicago. So it would have been around the 12th or maybe the 17th of December. I'm sorry, I don't remember any words that Mike said, or anecdotes he shared, I'm not always good at remembering things like that. What I do remember is the feelings I felt in the presence of Mike and Lea, at their home. Safe, warm, loved. I remember Mike by the compassion I could feel radiating from him for everyone and everything around him. I remember the feeling when he sat down to talk to you, like you were the only person in the world, and what you said was of the utmost importance. I could see the love in his eyes as much as I could feel it, he loved so purely. I will miss Mike, and I am forever grateful to have known him.
Alana Z.
Mike taught me the joke: "A magician was driving his car down the street, and it turned into a driveway." The last I saw him was at your "dip" party. We brought our baby, who was not quite crawling at the time, and I have a clear mental picture of Mike holding our baby in front of the dip table. They both looked totally serene. Mike loved children, and children loved him. Years earlier, on an especially fun evening in your South Shore apartment, after the girls went to bed, Mike and Lea taught Rob and me how to play Settlers of Catan. He gave spectacular hugs. I'm holding onto the feeling of Mike's big bear hugs, that always felt so warm and welcoming.
Krista Adamson Adjei
My most vivid memory of Michael and family is when I babysat Deborah and Sophia in Shakopee, MN. Michael and Lea went to a wedding and I cared for the girls at their hotel. Well, it wouldn’t be a Minnesota summer without tornado sirens. Sure enough, I’m watching Deborah and Sophia and hear the sirens. I call the front desk to help me carry the girls downstairs in their car seats. We spent the rest of the night in the hallway with strangers whose hearts were stolen by Deborah and Sophia’s head shaking side to side followed by a big grin to win over the audience. This must have been a new skill they had learned! Sirens ended but we remained in the hotel lounge until Michael and Lea came back where they scooped up their girls and what I can only imagine was a sigh of relief. I recall Michael’s kind eyes, gentle smile and words of gratitude. I don’t have a ton of memories to share of Michael but the ones I do have reflect the core of who I’ve learned him to be. An adoring father, husband, son, advocate and friend.
Alana Z.
Mike loved being silly.
Erica
I met Mike in spring 2002 during chemistry class at Northwestern. His lab space was directly across mine. I have no idea why he chose to hunch down under the cabinetry and talk to me. My resting face doesn’t invite friends. Nevertheless, out of his mouth came the absolutely corniest jokes I’ve ever heard. It made me laugh over the next 9 weeks which I needed after my first Midwest winter a thousand miles from home. The musical chairs of the college social scene led us to date 2 years later. I only mention that because we’ve all heard that saying, “everything happens for a reason”. This is one of the few examples of my life that I can provide. We didn’t work because Mike was meant for Lea. My words will not adequately describe this but their passion, how they complimented each other in their approaches to life, the word play (someone existed who could match Mike’s use of the English language!), the love, you would have to be blind to not see soulmates. It was inspiring to witness. In these times, it hurts to see the in-person part of the Mike & Lea love journey end. The love journey will take on a different form. I have no doubt that it will continue to inspire. Someone else wrote that Mike as a father was the father they had wished for. Ditto. He really wanted to be a dad and he was so darn good at it. Sophia, Deborah, and Rivka brought him so much joy. Tom and Donnelle, parent to parent, I cannot imagine experiencing the entirety of my child’s life but if I can offer any solace, it’s that you raised a great boy who became a great man. Mike for all of those book smarts, was such an open, humble and kind individual. Shy and rough-around-the-edges people like my college self needed to befriend people like him. I am trying to pass on some of his qualities onto my kids. It is my hope that his grandchildren who are not even twinkles in his daughters eyes yet, remember him. Remembering him is an honor. My pictures of our early friendship are misplaced at the moment. So he lives on for me in dad jokes, StrongBad emails, Led Zeppelin, that annoying earworm of Badger Badger and the movie High Fidelity, which featured The Beta Band’s “Dry the Rain”. The refrain at the end goes something like “if there’s something inside you want to say, say it out loud, it will be okay, I will be your light”. That refrain has provided comfort several times over the past two decades. Thank you Mike for sharing it with me. Rest easy my friend. I will miss you.
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