Mary Elizabeth McCarthy

Mary E. McCarthy 

1919-2020

Our cherished mother was born Mary Elizabeth Doyle in Monrovia, California on December 1, 1919.  Her father passed away when she was only three months old and along with her two sisters and brother, she was raised by a single mother during the 1920s and 30s.  Despite the trials of the Depression, she had wonderful memories of her childhood and her paternal grandparents who lived in Hollywood. 

Having been raised in the Los Angeles area during those years, she was able to reminisce about watching movies being made and going to the 1932 Olympics with her brother.  Her fondest memories, however, were dancing summer evenings away on Santa Catalina Island while listening to the greats of the Big Band Era including the Dorsey Brothers, Glenn Miller, and Harry James.  She saw them all…

Mary graduated from Immaculate Heart High School for girls in 1937, after which she attended business college and then went to work.   Ultimately she worked for Lockheed Aircraft in Burbank as one of only two women in a company with which she would stay as it grew throughout World War II.  Toward the end of the war she met the man with whom she would share the next fifty three years of her life.

Mary and Cornelius Joseph McCarthy, a San Francisco native, were married at St. Charles Borromeo Church in North Hollywood on September 8, 1945.  After moving to Templeton, California, where Con had a teaching job, they started to build what would ultimately become their legacy, a family.  After four years and two children in Templeton, they moved to San Francisco where they would spend the remainder of their marriage bringing an additional four children into their loving home.

Over the next fifty years, Mary was a fixture at St. Cecilia Parish in the West Portal neighborhood of San Francisco.  All six of her children graduated from St. Cecilia School where today the third generation of McCarthys now attends.  Her selfless involvement in her children’s school and church activities consumed so much of her time that it left little or no time for her own personal endeavors.  The lesson of giving of yourself to your family and others became the bedrock of her family’s values.

When her children moved away from home she was able to become involved in so many things that she had put off to care for her children.  Always an accomplished seamstress who made much of her daughters’ clothing, she also helped to create wedding gowns.  As a charter member of the San Francisco Quilters Guild she became a prolific quilter for which she won awards.  Mary contributed to quilts such as the AIDS Memorial Quilt, as well as quilts which hung in both the Aquarium and War Memorial in San Francisco.  Music, always a passion of hers, took a prominent place in her life.  Joining the choir at church, ukulele lessons at the Doelger Center, and the purchase of an organ all helped her express her joy for life. 

After his retirement from City College of San Francisco, Con and Mary were able to travel.  Trips to see family throughout the United States and Ireland, as well as Hawaii, Canada, and the United Kingdom allowed them to see places they had never been and spend time with one another which had not always been an easy thing to do while raising six children.  As they grew older together, they were able to dote on their grandchildren who numbered thirteen.  Later, Con became ill and Mary became his main caregiver until his death in 1998.

Mary stayed in the family home for another eight years while she continued to be involved in St. Cecilia parish as she continued to sing in the choir and lend her sewing talents to her neighbors in the Collins Center.  She continued her quilting prowess throughout these years and also found the opportunity to travel a bit with her quilting friends.  She also made annual trips to Laguna Beach, California where she along with her older sister, Dolores, sister-in-law Rachel, and several cousins would spend a month watching surfers, playing cards, and reminiscing.

In 2006, Mary moved to the retirement community at The Forum at Rancho San Antonio in Cupertino.  She immediately became an active member joining the chorus, various committees, and taking almost every class offered including water aerobics.  Moving into a new community after over fifty years in San Francisco, she threw herself into her new community serving as secretary of various clubs and committees, working at the Country Store, and being involved in a myriad of activities including attending pop concerts, plays, musicals, and visits to museums.  She and her friends prided themselves on winning the Halloween costume contest for years.  It seemed that if there was an activity to be involved with her neighbors, she participated with a smile on her face.

Mary spent the last 15 years of her life at the Forum cultivating new friendships and living an active life.  She was a mainstay at the Friday night sing alongs and attended every piano recital she could.  At the age of ninety-seven she flew to New York City with two of her daughters, their husbands, and a granddaughter to visit her youngest child.  In a matter of only eight days in the Big Apple, she took in 7 musicals plus an opera.  She also visited the sights of New York such as Ellis Island and Central Park.  During her years at the Forum, she continued to attend every significant event in her children’s, grandchildren’s, and fifteen great grandchildren’s lives.  Her ubiquitous presence at family gatherings was essential to it being considered an official family gathering.  Last December, we were fortunate enough to have celebrated her 100th birthday with a party at Poplar Creek Golf Course in San Mateo.  Four generations along with friends joined in the merriment and reveled in the joy that Mary brought to any social event.

Mary will be missed by friends and family alike.  Her infectious smile along with her twinkling eyes brightened any room into which she walked.  Her acceptance of all and the love she exuded brought comfort to those she encountered making them feel so special.  She was a role model for us all in the way she lived a life fully engaged and was gracious to the day of her passing on April 1, 2020.

Those we love don’t go away,

They walk beside us every day,

Unseen, unheard, but always near,

Still loved, still missed and very dear.

- Maureen, Danny, Molly, Johnny, Eileen, Mick