Mary Ann Higgins

My mom, Mary Higgins, passed peacefully on 2/5/21. I am so blessed and feel so lucky that when she passed we were right there with her. She had a long life of 81 years. However, for those that loved her it was not long enough. Throughout her life she was an amazing daughter, sister, employee, wife, sister-in-law, friend, aunt, mom, and grandmom(Marema). She grew up in Wescosville off of Brookside Rd. with a family of 9 kids and with very little means. But from what I could tell they were always able to get what they needed. Managing to have nice Easter dresses for the 6 girls that their mom would make from the money she made from selling dandelions. Her father had a oil or gas delivery company. She came from a Pennsylvania Dutch famlly, only speaking that language until she went to school and had to learn English. She had a strong and strict religious upbringing, church sometimes 3 times a day. Playing cards, dancing, drinking and smoking being a few actions that weren't allowed. She had funny stories of her cousins and one family member that was named Obediah Jeremiah. We always got a chuckle about that. She often would tell stories of her father who was extremely generous, almost too generous, helping others at the risk of not giving his family what they needed. This is how she learned her generosity. She helped those she cared about by helping them financially, emotionally or physically. I think her most selfless act would be taking care of my disabled uncle, my dad's brother, after he had been in a tragic car accident, leaving him not only disabled but also with brain damage. I learned so much from her through this time. She showed inmeasurable compassion, kindness, generosity, loyalty, dedication, strength, selflessness, perseverance, determination and sense of humor even through adversity. Even in those days caring for my uncle, as sad and trying those times were for the whole family, and lonely for her, she showed me how to live through it with a sense of humor. As we would eat dinner with my uncle who was disabled and suffered brain damage from the accident, I can recount numerous meals just him, my mom and I. He would forget that he had just eaten a meal and the three of us would laugh together when we reminded him that he had just eaten. Or he would walk in the wrong direction to the bathroom because he forgot where he was going. We would all laugh together through those things and they both taught me that laughter is the best medicine. She made it all bearable. She led by example and showed me how to live through difficult times. She was my advocate, she was my buddy, she an easy-going fun mom, she was a tough love mom, she was the sister I never had, she was the always there for me mom. I can't think of anyone that has ever been there for me more than her. She was the favorite aunt, the "fun" parent that my friends have fond memories of, or the one family and friends would chose to be a godparent. She met my dad at 14 years old and I guess it was love at first sight. Got married when she was 23. They were married for 56 years before my dad passed away of cancer. They lived an exciting life of trips, luxury, meeting celebrities I (thank you Maria), and adventures that also came with many challenges, sacrifices, hard work and costs along the way. She spoiled me, but also taught me to work hard. She usually allowed me to take in those stray pets and I learned from her how pets add joy to your life. Did I mention that she taught me sense of humor with everything in life? Our pets ended up also being some of our biggest joys and made us laugh the most. She was fiercely protective of me and probably well known as one of the great worriers of all time. She can be remembered lovingly as always saying "Oy" or 'Oh Yaynacomal"( I think this was PA Dutch for "oh goodness" but I never knew how to spell it). Her worried behavior prevented me from doing simple things such as being allowed to ride a bike (true story). But I can't imagine the strength she must've had to drum up when she encouraged me to spread my wings and go to college so I could be independent and not have to rely on anyone for my financial security. Or when she said goodbye to me when I went away to Europe for several weeks in high school with a singing group. Or when she put me on a plane in 6th grade to fly to Maine to visit her friend Maria and their girls Tanya and Scarlett. I'm sure this sounds exciting but I got off on the wrong leg of the flight (no joke, that was scary). That was one decision she regretted. She taught me to take care of myself physically, which is how I learned the importance of working out and staying in shape, after all of those years of her forcing me to run with her as a teen (she always ran faster than me with all of her nervous energy). She taught me to take care of my health and eat well. "You are what you eat and let food be thy medicine". She read about health all the time. She taught me to ski and play tennis. She taught me to play Scrabble and a mean game of Parcheesi (and I mean MEAN, she was ruthless!). She was beautiful, not only on the inside, but outside too. In my younger days I was in awe of this woman who was beautiful and I hoped as I got older to be lucky enough to be as pretty as her. She was a model with her friend Sonja at The Village Inn over the lunch hour. Her modeling would pay for her love of clothes. It needs to be said and most remember her having the cutest little body. Along with that she had a great style...casual, classic chic, but somewhat trendy with a lot of bling. Her sunglasses, jewelry and clothing always had some sort of bling on it. Her blinged sunglasses warranted her the nickname by Dan's brothers as "Hollywood Higgins". When she wasn't busy with her friends skiing, playing tennis or going to lunches, she was an amazing artist that painted with acrylic or oil paint. She creating so many paintings of landscapes, hills, meadows, woods, oceans, farmhouses. I'm assuming her art talent was hereditary as she was from a long line of famous Stahl potterers. She took that talent and began to have fun painting and decorating shirts and visors with acrylic paint, always adding the additional bling. She made several shirts and visors for her friends. She was even asked to start making more to sell at stores but she didn't want that responsibiltiy. She stored away all of her beautiful artwork and we finally insisted we get everything out of hiding and begged her to allow us to display at our home. She loved fast cars and convertibles( but you would never get her on the back of my dad's motorcycle).. big hats and sunglasses... her casino slot machines and the many day trips down to Atlantic City...beaches and sunshine ( but you would never see her in the water). Dan and I recall her success on the Red, White, Blue slot machines when we all vacationed in St. Maarten. She pleaded with him to bet the full amount on the slots, but Dan insisted on making his $10 dollars last through the night while they both gambled the night away. As much as she embraced life and wanted to live to the fullest, life changed her a bit when she fractured both hips and spine over 10 years ago. Despite her setbacks, she recovered and continued on with the things she loved. She loved to cook meals that could feed an army, and she made the best apple pie. She loved Christmas and went all out decorating the house. She could sing harmony to any song in her alto voice. And by the way she taught herself to play piano by ear when she was little. Some of my fondest memories would be going to church with her and singing harmony to the church hymns. Or a fond memory for all of us would've been when all her sisters gathered around our piano and sang Christmas carols in their own harmonic parts. But her biggest love of her life was her grandchildren Sammy and Jessie. She would light up with love and pride whenever they stepped in the room. Even up to her final days she still thought of Sam as her baby. On his last visit with her we sang the song she used to sing with him when he was a baby "You are my Sunshine". She loved us all fiercely and wholeheartedly. Her love for my husband Dan was a beautiful testiment of the relationship they had and the person I was lucky to marry. To her, he truly was the son she never had. Words can't express what an massive hole her death will leave in our lives. As you can imagine and probably have guessed she has many stories, far too many to cover in this loving tribute. Maybe stories to be shared at another time. Hopefully if there are others reading this, you might have your stories that you can share through a video, your photos or through writing it out. We would be forever grateful. I certainly wished we had more time because I just don't remember all of the stories and there was more I could've learned from her. But she will be missed terribly by so many. I imagine she is up in heaven hugging my dad and all of her loved ones. I would like to think she is kicking some butt and beating them all at Scrabble and Parcheesi while decorating her new beach home with bling while also being surrounded with all of our past pets (especially Angie, Elkie and Cashmere). She is in a new body again running around playing tennis, mowing lawns, gardening and maybe cooking up a storm. We miss you Mom and Marema, and what she would sometimes call her herself in her younger days Mary Jean Marishka (no clue) or Mary, Mary Quite Contrary. We will always remember how good you have been to us. I know now that I am who I am because of you. You had a special way of making the simplest things in life funny. No one has ever made me laugh as much as you. I'm so blessed for all that you have given me and am the luckiest girl in the world. We miss you and love you so very much...