Maria Guadalupe Valdivia

Mom's Grandniece, Cris, sent the Family a Beautiful Tribute to Her Tia. My Dad was deeply touched by the sentiment expressed.. My Mom was loved by so Many.. Cris's Memories: "It is impossible to separate mi tia’s memories from my mom and grandma’s. Thanks to my mom’s stories, I got to know a little bit about mi tia’s teenage and early adult years. My mom grew up living next door to mi tia in Tijuana. My mom said that most of the time her rebellious character was no match for mi tia’s discipline, especially when my mom had to sit down still while mi tia braided her long hair. I am sure my mom experienced a lesson or two on how to discipline unruly kids from mi tia that later she would use on her own kids. My mom would also tell us how one day a handsome guy came and swept my tia off her feet, married and took her away from her. She would tell this with a little bit of sadness in her voice. My mom only had a brother several years younger than her and her parents worked all day, so mi tia was a constant companion for her. But then my mom’s eyes would light up when she started talking about the little “siblings” that came after my tia’s wedding. She remembered all the details about the early days of each of mi tia’s kids. She would talk for hours about “her” Danny and the special connection she had with him and how Roxana was like the little sister she never had. Even after they were all grown up, my mom loved to hear from them through my grandma. After my mom got married and moved far away, she always sought mi tia’s advice and approval. Whenever my mom had a hard decision to make, my mom would ask my grandma to consult with mi tia about it (I never understood why my mom didn’t call mi tia directly) and then my grandma would pass on the advice to my mom. I vividly remember my mom saying “Your grandma says that Lupe thinks that yes, I should go ahead with this…” And whatever mi tia advised, my mom would follow suit. My sister and I have an inside joke that my husband is now the Tia Lupe of the family because he is always giving my sister very sound advice through me. Luckily for me, I got to experience my own share of memories with mi tia. Growing up, my sister and I spent a month or so with my grandma in San Diego during the summers. My favorite part about being in San Diego was visiting mi tia’s house. Like her grandkids said in her funeral, she was the perfect host. There was something about her house that made me feel at home – could it be the ice cream in the freezer of the comfy couch next to the tv. Mi tia and my grandma planned so many fun activities for us in San Diego. No car, no problem! We would get on a bus and would go all over town: Sea World, the Zoo, the malls, Seaport Village. I didn’t realize it at that time, but my first lessons about being an independent woman came from seeing two unafraid older women navigate San Diego. While riding the buses, I would always sit next to mi tia, she then would tell me stories about her students and everything she did at her job. Those stories made an impact on an 8-year old girl; I thought it was so cool that she worked outside her home and was able to make her own money. Every other year, my grandma’s siblings, all 8 of them, would get together in my hometown. My mom would prepare for this visit for months. I never saw my mom happier than when her aunts and one uncle were in town. It was so much fun seeing all the sisters together. They would call their little gang “las muchachas” (the girls). After each meal, they would talk for hours about their childhoods, their parents and other family members and even sometimes they would bicker like siblings do. I regret not sitting down with a pen and paper, or a video camera to record all those stories. Mi tia was also part of and brought comfort to one of the saddest moments in my life. When we found out that my mom only had a few weeks to live, mi tia immediately flew to Chihuahua to say goodbye to her. When she arrived, she sat at her bedside just holding her hand. She didn’t have to say anything to her, my mom (and all of us who were there) felt the bond between them. After I got married and had kids, my husband and I planned a trip through California. Our first stop was San Diego. It was surreal seeing my babies in my tia’s house. My mom didn’t get the chance to meet my daughters and my grandma passed away when my oldest was two years old, so it was very important for me that my daughters got to meet someone so special in my mom’s life. The minute mi tia saw my girls, she hugged them and showed them my mom’s baby pictures, told them stories about how my grandparents met and made me so proud when she noticed the resemblance between my oldest daughter and my mom. I am sure mi tia would always be remembered and missed as a caring and loving wife, mom and grandma. But her title as an aunt also made a profound impact and earned her a very special place in my heart. "