lolo and lele

Kenneth Zeger Kenneth Zeger: 1 hour ago Here's one "typical" memory. Back in late 1990 or early 1991, I was living in Honolulu, and Andy visited me for a few days and stayed in my apartment in Manoa at the University of Hawaii campus. While I was teaching one day, he managed to somehow find a bunch of professional fishermen and get them to take him out on their boat all day. Apparently they made him work for his play and he spent the day fishing. He actually caught a fairly big tuna (locally called an "Aku") and brought it back to my apartment so we could eat it. He had no idea how to clean, prepare, or cook the thing, so that was my job. I was barely one step ahead of him about fish. While I was gutting and cleaning the fish (with Andy asking a million good questions along the way) I cut some out and we both ate it raw (i.e. "sashimi"). It was delicious, but I suddenly developed a big rash all over my lips and face. I had heard lots of horror warnings about Ciguatera fish poisoning (no known cure) on local TV and was worried that's what I had. So Andy and I rushed to the emergency room of a hospital, and that's when the fun really got started. The doctors there had no idea what Ciguatera was, nor how to diagnose it. They were obviously faking it. So at one point they told me and Andy to wait in a room while they consult each other. It so happens that in our room on the shelf was a Merck Manual of medical diseases etc., designed for professionals like doctors. Well of course, Andy and I started pouring through it during our 30 minute wait time, covering every possible variation of the symptoms, etc. When the doctor finally reappeared, he proceeded to ask about 20 questions in a row, every single one of which Andy and I had read and memorized about 15 minutes earlier. We started laughing uncontrollably right in the middle of the predictable diagnostic process. Finally, the doctor insisted the only reasonable thing was to force me to vomit up the (supposed) toxin. So he gave me 5 bottles of Ipecac to induce vomiting. For some reason, after consuming all 5 bottles I couldn't vomit anything. Andy and I weren't worried because while reading the Merck Manual, we concluded that I must have gotten some intestinal bacteria on my fingers that touched my lips, thus causing the swelling - a nonlethal situation. We trusted ourselves more than the MD at this point. But we were so entrenched in the hospital bureaucracy that they wouldn't let us leave unless I either vomited or they pumped my stomach. Andy, the (mergers and acquisitions) lawyer, explained the potential malpractice medical suit they would face if I just left the ER. So when the doctor stepped out of the room for a moment to give me one last chance, Andy and I conspired to jointly produce about 2 minutes of nonstop fake vomiting noises. When the doctor returned he was convinced, promptly discharged me (probably glad to get rid of us!), and I went home and was fine. We cooked the rest of the fish the next day and it was great. I had numerous other similar wacky experiences with Andy over the last 30+ years