Gerald J Emerson

My sweet, magical, amazing daddy is gone. I'd really like it if you were still here, Daddy, and I'm doing this so that some of all the many, many lives you've touched in such a profound way (even if you knew them briefly) will have a chance to give a little love in your name if I haven't had the chance to reach out to them yet. I feel hugely grateful to have had this astounding man for my father. I know he was 88 and his heart and lungs were getting worse but I wasn't ready and I want to keep talking with him for the rest of my life, so I will. If you knew him at all I don't have to tell you how witty, positive minded, compassionate, curious, and bright he was. You already know because he has already changed your life a little (or a lot of) bit by making you think about yourself, the world, something or someone a little differently, a little deeper. He did it softly and made you laugh about it. You might not have even noticed until later how profoundly it affected you. I'm sure my daddy had flaws but he was the brilliant, shining, life-giving sun to me. I guess since he's gone I'll have to keep working on being that myself as it might be the only way to generate warmth. Thank you for teaching me that love matters more than pretty much anything. Thank you for waking me up to the aim of mastering being in the present moment, savoring it with all my senses which slows time down and washes away fears. Thank you for inspiring me to grow to always become more self determined, to live from my core and not for fear of others. Thank you for being a living example of all these things and more. These truths are a wealth that reign over all the riches one could have and may hopefully be the key to ending the destruction of unabashed greed stomping on the world. I am sad. My heart is broken. I am grateful beyond measure to have been able to tell you all this before you left. Also, Daddy thank you for having always been my cheerleader through everything even years ago when I was living so recklessly in the darkness out of the kind of fear and neediness that makes a person "wacko" as you might say it. Back then, you almost drew out a better me by just seeing the possibility in me instead of my stupidity. All the kind words, all the undying optimism, all your praise - that is what is in my head when I hear your voice. I have you in my heart and mind loving me, forgiving me, proud of me, glad for me, and cheering me on. I love you endlessly, Daddy.