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Memorial Keepers(1)
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Rupert Morley
Ben Morley
February 28th, 1969 - November 30th, 2022
February 28th, 1969 - November 30th, 2022
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Tributes
Share a favorite memory, send condolences, and honor Ben’s life with a heartfelt message.
Kirstie Edbrooke
I was really sad to find out that Ben had died. We were good friends back in the 90s then lost touch. I have often wondered how he was doing and what he was up to; hence googling him today. After the shock of the news it was lovely to see many photos and read the tributes about him. What shone through is that Ben was a complete one of a kind who left his (positive) mark on everyone who encountered him. Ben and I met studying psychology at Southampton Uni. He was always up for adventures. We are dressed as punks/goths on a uni ski trip in one of the photos, which i'm sure was his idea. On other travels we spent a month flying around the States visiting an inordinate number of places- New York, Niagra Falls, Las Vegas, San Francisco? Boston, Disney, Carolina, Key West..... and more!! Ben was an absolute gentleman and an excellent travel companion. I am so pleased to read that he continued to live life to the full, kept making and maintaining amazing friendships and followed his passions with an open and loving heart.
Sarah Cunliffe
I was only 16 when I met Ben whilst he stayed at my friend Ann's house (his digs and landlady) in Frimley, Surrey. Ben was on his Uni year out working at GEC Marconi working in an Engineering degree placement I think. Ben was 18 years old and saw me as a bit like a little sister but one day whilst I was over at Ann's house he asked me to teach him how to disco dance and so I did and after that we became firm friends. Later on in our 20's we spent many a night out on the town ( me later trudging in stupidly high shoes or boots) trying to keep up with Ben's long strides all across London when the nightclubs closed! We loved 'The Carwash' and both were always dancing with inanely happy smiles all night long giving each other a wave every so often or the SOS look when the other needed to nudge out unwanted company. Now don't get me wrong at 16 I had a major crush on him as many girls no doubt did but we decided long,long ago that our friendship was worth more to preserve as friends and I am glad we did. We would talk for hours and hours on end, analysing and examining everything about anything late into the night until falling asleep on couches, floors, well anything really. Ben was always interesting and interested, a generous and curious conversationalist. Often allowed to kip in the spare room or his floor or sofa in West Kens if visiting London I remember turning up many a time tiddly dressed in 90's clubbing gear and gate crashing a Romantic dinner Ben was having with a date at his home- however often he would say later I am so glad you turned up and we would then debrief on our separate evenings, successes and failures. His Jelly and Ice cream party was epic!!! I have loved hearing others familiar descriptions and a common one about Ben is hugs, he gave the best, longest, kindest hugs in the world, he also had a habit of fiddling with anything he picked up in his fingers. He had a gentle compassionate deeply feeling nature and despite some of his childlike desires he also had a very mature emotional knowiness. He was hugely patient, humble, passionate in debate, forgiving, loyal, kind, gifted, complex, solitary/social, special. I saw Ben a few years ago due to Lockdown and we had a great night out in Bristol - behind schedule of course and nearly didn't get any food but charmed our way into somewhere- lots of laughing and fun times - little did I know it would be our last. Thank you Ben for the very best of times, parties, hugs, laughs, late night conversations, walking, night busses, toasted crumpets, for introducing me to your Southampton Uni friends and Uni life and your loving family. You were very courageous at the end, I am so sorry it came to that but I do understand. I will love you always and miss you. Sarah x
Paul Natali
Dear Ben, You have been such a marvellous friend since our time together at Uni in the late 1980s. One of the brightest, most analytical, kind, considerate, silly, humorous, energetic, generous and fun people I have ever known! Over the years you have changed direction (academic courses, careers, where you have lived etc) so often that at times it has been hard to keep up with you. However, whether it was sharing a student house, mountain walking & camping holidays, skiing, house parties, watching rugby, helping you move home (again and again), stag dos (and weddings), quiet pints & chinwags or, most recently, catching-up down in Dorset, your abundant qualities have always shone through - always at the centre of the throng, but understated and, generally, late! I do so wish that you would have opened-up more about your struggles. I am so sad that you chose as you did, but you have my greatest respect. I am just pleased that I have been honoured to call you my great friend. Rest well my friend. Paul
Emma Liberman
+2
Ah Ben; your birthday is round the corner and I still can't believe you have left us. But here's a few pictures to show that you are still very 'present' too. Think the one of you in Hope Valley is my favourite & I know your Mum loved it too - did I give it to her directly, or via you? As I said in my tribute to you (that request was below the belt, Ben, given my brother, but I forgive you - of course), the ski trips blend into one another, but they were all such fun. Pics here from Val Thorens & Sauze d'Oulx. And that excellent day we had at Royal Ascot, neither of us with any clue about the horses - goodness knows where you got the tickets. Will be raising a glass to you with a number of the Southampton crowd later in the week. God bless you always & rest in His arms.
Duncan Wallace
I am very grateful to read the memories and thoughts that others have shared. I'm sorry to say I am not going to make it from Scotland to the Memorial, so I will share what i can here. Ben was a great compassionate leader who touched the lives of others with generosity and openness. I am sad that he has decided to end his life early because he had much to offer. My story is from getting to know Ben as a cousin who decided to come and join me in working and living with people who were homeless in London Simon Community. It was through living in community with Ben that i got to know him well, and he was clearly a good, balanced, practical worker and so i asked him to become the leader of the therapeutic farm that we ran near Kent. Ben did this really well, his open and discussive way of leading the household helped the others work together to really have a go at transforming the smallholding. Ben's ability to frame and organise the work into fun, and slightly ambitious projects enabled everyone else to play their part. Even some very strange characters. I'm thinking particularly of the relationship Ben had with a woman called Denise, and a bloke called 'little Richard', both of whom he managed to bring out the best of across that time. I was really glad when Ben used this experience to decide to go and re-train to become a psychiatric OT. We kept in touch in the next decade. Ben came up to Glasgow to find out what i was doing in setting up a therapeutic community with homeless people in Glasgow called Emmaus Glasgow, and at that time I remember asking Ben if he wanted to become our first Community Leader and we talked about that quite a bit. About five years after that, Ben came to my wedding and then a few years later came on holiday in Mull with my wife and baby Iola. Apart from that we have stayed in touch every few years. When we were in touch, I also got the impression that Ben seemed to be doing his work/career with people who are at the edges in a very sensible fashion. Knowing that this sort of work generally takes a toll, Ben had the inner wisdom to take time out every few years and re-charge. So like others have said, I'm sorry he didn't reach out and I'm glad to see he was much loved. It is a tragic loss. I hope those who can make it, gather well and thank you again for what you have said here and for gathering.
Patrick Lamb
I can't seem to grasp the fact that Ben is gone. It feels so wrong, my mind won't accept it. As cousins, Ben is woven into many of my earliest memories: games of Monopoly on the floor at family parties; raucous cousins squabbling over who got to 'be' the sports car or the dog. Family holidays. He was kind enough to put me up on his sofa when I visited friends in London. I remember being amazed at how quickly he could inhale a bowl of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. Ben decided that for one birthday, he wanted to host a beach party in his tiny back yard. So he did. It was a fun occasion full of laughter. Some years later I moved abroad, making our meetings less frequent. But I always loved seeing him. Ben picked up on things very quickly. He was never unkind or caustic, despite how wonderfully intelligent he was, how perceptive. I will miss him. I hope he is at peace.
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