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Barbara Grady
September 14th, 1924 - December 30th, 2021
September 14th, 1924 - December 30th, 2021
Barbara H. Grady, beloved wife, mother, grandmother and friend to many, passed away in her sleep on December 30, 2021, at Sibley Hospital in Washington, DC. She was 97.
A teacher, guidance counselor and law school Dean of Students, Barbara helped many young people find their paths in life. She influenced every person she met with her kindness and genuine interest in their lives. To her own five children and 11 grandchildren, Barbara was the loving anchor of the family. She was a peacemaker and prayed “for peace on Earth” every night for decades.
Barbara H. Grady was born September 14, 1924 in Youngstown, Ohio, the youngest of three daughters to Matthew and Amelia Hannon. Barbara excelled in school, graduating valedictorian from Rayen High School and at the top of her class from Seton Hill College in Greensburg, PA. Her college years overlapped with World War II and thus she was part of that greatest generation who knew how to sacrifice for a greater good and be resilient. Barbara certainly was. She overcame obstacles with ease and grace, and had unfailing compassion.
After graduating from college in 1946, Barbara became a social worker. Soon, with the war over and opportunity beckoning, Barbara and her best friend decided to explore new horizons and drove to Washington D.C. Barbara began working for a member of Congress as the U.S. was shaping the peace for a wearied world. Many other smart young people flocked to Washington and one of them was John H. Grady Jr., whom Barbara met on a blind date. Barbara and John fell in love and married in June 1949.
The young couple soon moved north to the New Jersey suburbs, eventually settling in Livingston, where they lived for 43 years. Livingston was a growing family-oriented township where they raised their kids and involved themselves in town governance, youth sports, education, and church. Barbara and John created a lively and loving family life and neighbors often joined in the fun.
When her youngest children reached full-time school age, Barbara began teaching at St. Philomena’s School, where she was a favorite teacher. While also still raising five children, Barbara went back to school at night to earn her master’s degree from Montclair State College. Afterwards, she became a guidance counselor and then director of guidance counseling at Immaculate Conception High School in Montclair, N. J. She continued studying towards a doctorate in higher education administration and, with all but the dissertation completed, took a job as an admissions director at Seton Hall University and then as assistant dean for student services at the Seton Hall Law School, where she influenced hundreds of future lawyers. She retired in 1993.
As her career progressed Barbara always found time to be a loving and attentive mother, encouraging her own children in their academic, athletic and musical pursuits. She taught them how to swim, ice-skate, and dive under ocean waves, to enjoy books, theater and travel, and how to love others no matter what, as she modeled so well. Over time, Barbara welcomed in-laws and grandchildren to the family, showering all with her love. The matriarch of what eventually became a family of 23, Barbara and her husband John organized summer vacations for them all at Beach Haven, N.J., complete with red and blue sports teams, lots of ocean swimming, assigned cooking nights, and evening games.
Upon retirement Barbara and John moved to Gainesville, VA, to the Heritage Hunt senior living community where they made many friends, played tennis and hosted big family gatherings. In recent years Barbara lived at Fox Hill Assisted Living in Bethesda, MD, near two of her daughters and where she was beloved by caregivers and residents.
Barbara is survived by five children: Joanne Grady Huskey, Dr. Christine Grady, John H Grady III, Barbara Grady Ayer and Robert E. Grady; eleven grandchildren: Jenny, Megan and Alison Fauci, Christopher and Caroline Huskey, Laura DeBoer and Michael Grady, David and Hannon Ayer and Matthew and Katie Grady; two great-grandchildren, Lila and Elijah DeBoer; and five sons-and-daughters-in-law: James Huskey, Anthony Fauci, Leslie Grady, Richard Ayer and Colleen Grady; a brother-in-law Paul Grady and many nieces and nephews. Barbara is predeceased by her husband of 64 years, John H. Grady Jr, and two sisters Martha Reed and Anne Davis.
A Catholic memorial service is planned for the spring. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be sent to the Alzheimer’s Association. (www.alz.org)
Resting Place
Stonewall Memory Gardens
38.8133157, -77.551531
Tributes
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Eileen Cummings
I have just read off your dear mother’s passing. In reading all of the memories and tributes to her, I am reminded of my colleague and friend from Seton Hall University, and the many kindnesses that she showed me, both during my tenure, and as I left to pursue my own dream of entrepreneurship. I remember lovely lunches, walking through the tree line streets of South Orange, and finding common ground in our own chosen paths, Rest well, kind soul.
Joanne Huskey
by Joanne Huskey My Mom, Barbara Joan Hannon Grady, was the heart of our family, the rock that kept us all strong, the safety net that held us close as a family. She was the one who urged us to work hard in school and to go for it when there was a challenge. When my Dad traveled for work, had to live away for some time, when he lost his job, or was busy with his sports, Mom was there and she made everything feel perfect. She remained solid, true to her values, and made the family whole. She made our home a very happy one. My mother had gorgeous red hair, was tall, elegant, and smart. She was valedictorian of both her high school and her college classes, voted “most popular” and “most likely to succeed” in high school. After college, she worked in Washington on Capitol Hill. When she met my father there, they went out every single night for 6 months, and then got married. Within 7 years Mom had 5 children! She was definitely a good Catholic girl! She always knew how to say the right thing, and be there when you needed her. She did everything at home, made all of my prom dresses, created wonderful holidays, drove us to our various activities, got us to do homework, and guided us in decisions. She was relaxed and friendly to all, welcomed guests to our home, and delighted everyone with her comfortable ease. Not once in all the years did she ever complain, or act anything but positive. She was never sick, and barely ever yelled or lost her temper. She had a go-for-it attitude — was always up for the adventure, wanted to join in the fun, and loved to create celebrations for important events. As I grew up, she cheered me on in my career, counseled me in my relationships, was there for the birth of both of my children, and was the only one in my family who came to visit my family in all of the countries we lived— China, India, Kenya, and Taiwan. Amazingly, she went back to work as a teacher when my youngest brother was 6, and somehow, while raising five very demanding kids, and doing absolutely everything for all of us, she went on to get her Masters Degree in Counseling, and then almost her Ph.D in Psychology. In addition to raising five responsible hard working kids, she ended up as the Dean of Students at Seton Hall University Law School and the guiding light for many a law student. Even today, I still look like her, and can only hope that I can be like her. She took the time to compliment everyone she met and tell them how lovely their smile was, or how nice they look. Despite her increasing dementia, she never complained, but always had an encouraging word for everyone. When I visited her and played the piano, she clapped her hands, sang with a twinkle in her eye, and proudly told everyone that I am her daughter. Sadly, now that she is gone, she cannot know how I try to be a good mother to my own wonderful daughter and son, or that through my work, I have mentored thousands of young leaders all over the world, sharing the lessons I have learned from her about integrity, morality and responsible, socially conscious living. In this new year 2022, when this world is full of fake news and lies, terrorism and hateful acts, when the country I grew up in is falling apart, and the church I grew up in is totally corrupt, my mother will always remain my Rock—an example of goodness, healthy honesty, and kindness. She had a North Star that guided her and she willingly shared her grace with all who were around her. I have been so blessed to be shaped, nurtured, and guided by that grace all my life.
Robert Grady
As my brother and sisters have already posted, my wonderful Mom passed away peacefully in her sleep early yesterday morning. Her story is pretty amazing: Grew up in the Depression in Ohio, first in her class in high school, state swimming champion, tops in her class again in college -- in the 1940s, when not many women went to four-year college or university. After college, she went to Washington to work for her Congressman, and met my dad. They married and quickly had 5 kids, of which I was the youngest. The very DAY that I started first grade, she went back to work teaching at our local parochial school, St. Philomena's, and by the time I was in third grade, she was also going to school at night, where she got her graduate degrees in Psychology and Counseling (...all this, mind you, while raising 5 kids, preparing every meal, ironing my father's shirts -- remember this was the old days...). She became a guidance counselor at Immaculate Conception High School, then became Guidance Director. Then she became Dean of Admissions at Seton Hall University, then Dean of Admissions at Seton Hall Law School (where she admitted many later prominent folks, including Gov. Chris Christie), then became Dean of Students at Seton Hall Law School, from which she retired at 73 after a successful 30-year career -- after dropping out of the workforce for 15 years! Two things about my Mom: 1. She was unfailingly kind and loving to whomever God placed in her path. Never judgmental. Always welcoming. We always had visitors and strangers in our kitchen and in our house (after a mandatory game of driveway basketball or touch football) and she welcomed them with open arms and genuine interest. 2. She wore her great success with incredible nonchalance. When she met folks, she always asked about them -- where they were from, where they went to school, what they liked to do. She never talked about herself. So looking back at that career and life, friends, never give up on your dreams. Go out and pursue them, whenever, because it's never too late. And always be kind.
Barbara Grady-Ayer
The most courageous, loving and capable woman I’ve ever known, my sweet Mom, has passed away. Beautiful inside and out, a joy to be with, and an absolutely wonderful mom, she was my anchor and role model, a soul-mate kind of friend and a great fellow adventurer in travel and in life. Her five children and her husband were all so lucky! And the world was blessed every day of her 97 years by the love she showered on others. As a teacher, guidance counselor, friend, mother and grandmother, Mom influenced thousands. Her number one influence was making people feel loved and that they mattered. She was genuinely interested in every person she spoke with – and as a chatterbox she would strike up conversations with people all the time. Her inherent kindness--the unflashy ways she would do things for people or watch out for them--was such a gift to the world. It certainly was to her children. We all knew we were loved by her, and that gave us freedom to explore the world and seek adventure because we knew she would be there for us. When we were very young, she protected us from the harshness of life, and as we got older she taught us that no matter what happens, life is good and joy abundant. Years after we were all out of the house we would hear stories from former students about how she became a presence in their lives at critical moments, when they really needed someone to bolster their optimism. She was also very capable and smart, and instilled in us a love of learning and a can do attitude that has served all of us well. I am so glad we stayed close all through her life, and that her influence extended well into her later years. I thank modern travel that we got to spend a lot of time together despite our geographic distance. Our hearts will always be intertwined. I know because mine has a gapping hole in it now that she’s physically left this earth, and it is trying to re-stitch itself and recalibrate to her new spiritual presence. I love you Mom. Have fun as an angel, reunited with Dad, and right there next to God. Please keep showering us with your love. -Barbara Jean
Robert Grady
By Robert E. Grady Obituary for Barbara H. Grady January 1, 2022 Long-time Livingston resident Barbara H. Grady passed away peacefully in her sleep at Sibley Hospital in Washington, DC, on December 30th, according to her children. She was 97. Mrs. Grady and her husband, the late John H. Grady, Jr. a former member of the Livingston Township Council and two-term Mayor, lived in Livingston for 43 years. The Gradys raised five children, all of whom attended Livingston High School, and all of whom went on to receive college and advanced degrees. Barbara H. Grady was a teacher, high school guidance counselor, and law school dean of students. Born in 1924 in Youngstown, Ohio, Mrs. Grady, the youngest of three daughters, excelled in school, graduating valedictorian from Rayen High School and at the top of her class from Seton Hill College in Greensburg, PA. Shortly after her graduation from college, she moved to Washington D.C. to work for U.S. Congressman John Davis Lodge, who later served as Governor of Connecticut. It was in Washington that she met John Grady and they were married in 1949, a marriage that lasted over 64 years until Mr. Grady’s passing in 2013. They settled in Livingston in 1954, and after the youngest of the Grady’s five children entered first grade, Mrs. Grady began teaching at St. Philomena’s School. While teaching, she secured a master’s degree in Counseling from Montclair State College, and became a guidance counselor and then guidance director at Immaculate Conception High School in Montclair. She then moved to Seton Hall University to become Dean of Admissions at Seton Hall University, and retired in the late 1990s as the Assistant Dean of Students at the Seton Hall Law School. The Gradys lived on West Drive in Livingston, and were active in youth sports, education, public service and neighborhood activities. In 2001, the Gradys moved to a retirement community in Gainesville, Virginia, where they lived until three years after Mr. Grady’s passing. Barbara Grady is survived by five children: Joanne Grady Huskey of Naples, Florida; Dr. Christine Grady of Washington, DC; John H Grady III of Marietta, Georgia; Barbara Jean Grady Ayer of Albany, California; and Robert E. Grady of Jackson, Wyoming; and by eleven grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be sent to the Alzheimer’s Association (www.alz.org). Due to current Covid restrictions, the family plans a memorial Mass and service in early April in northern Virginia.
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