Mike Gray

Mike once told me that at PRPC, he thought all I could do was read announcements with my usual opening line "we interrupt your activities for some important announcements". At that time, he never knew the person behind the voice and it could have remained that way for good. However, fate had a more interesting plan. Fast forward to 1998, I was newly stationed in Ho Chi Minh City, having moved from my first foreign advertising posting in Jakarta. There, Mike and I would finally meet through his dear wife Abel, whom I knew of only from a distance during our time at the camp. Thanks to our mutual friend Chito Mandia, who informed me that Abel and her family were relocating from Hanoi to Saigon. One Sunday mass at the cathedral, as I turned to smile and nod at the person to my left to say 'peace be with you' - I was pleasantly surprised to find Abel! What a truly blessed meeting. This was the beginning of an enduring friendship with Abel, which of course includes Mike, Naya and Simon. A typical Sunday in Saigon would start with church in the morning, then, Abel, Godi, the kids, and I would head to Restaurant 13 for our favorite Vietnamese lunch. Often, Vangie Mitchell would join us there. Stuffed with lunch and excited to catch the latest Pinoy celebrity gossip on "The Buzz", we would hie off to the Grays' welcoming home, where Mike had been chilling (and likely hoping for a quiet Sunday) would quickly have his peace disturbed by our noisy arrival. But, ever the considerate host, Mike would graciously tolerate and briefly join our lively chatter. Eventually, he would just quietly retreat to his sanctuary, leaving us to our merriment. We used to joke that Godi was the real Mrs. Gray because she was warmly embraced by Mike and Abel into the family and, indulged, especially by Mike thus, often seemed like the boss of the household. So telling of the kind, trusting and compassionate heart behind that uniquely Mike laughing-sparkly-eyes. Saturdays, Mike would join Abel and myself for massage and facial at Cindy's. Pampering, followed by deep and fun conversation over coffee was the perfect antidote to a stressful week. Once, the three of us flew together to Phnom Penh. I was visiting my sister and her family, while Abel and Mike were visiting Nenette, along with their other good friends. We brought with us two plastic bags full of Nhu Lanh bun bao, everyone's favorite take-away from HCMC. The aroma of the bun bao filled the small plane, making our mouths water. Unable to resist, we ended up devouring our share during the short flight. Before we knew it, the plane was already descending to land. As we finished eating, we noticed the envious stares of the other passengers, who were probably salivating. Mike, chuckling while turning red remarked that we were quite an embarrassment! This left us in stitches all the way to immigration. Mike readily welcomed me into their home and family simply because I was Abel’s friend. I enjoyed many fun dinners at their home and some memorable outings with their family. The kids, were allowed to hang out and sleep with me, particularly Naya, when she was still an impressionable child. On one such occasion, Mike and Abel discovered how poorly I would do as a mom because I didn't come ready with bedtime stories! In the morning, Naya relayed to them the new bedtime story she heard from me, which was also new to them because it did not come from any kids' books. Sheepishly, I told Mike and Abel that I hoped Naya would not ask me to tell that story again because I wouldn't remember! This left Mike and Abel laughing loudly over breakfast - to my relief! Mike loved his kids deeply, he indulged them. And would fondly share anecdotes about them. Mike's deep love for Abel shone through in every act of kindness and hospitality he showed toward her many friends. He joyfully embraced all the endearing quirks and traits that make Abel who she is - he was the perfect match for Abel. Without doubt, Mike was the perfect 'husband goal' example for Filipinas seeking farang husbands - he warmly welcomed and appreciated the unique quirks of Filipinos, and even spoke Ilocano fluently, a rarity among foreigners. I only knew glimpses of Mike's rich and expansive life, unlike many of his close and dear friends, but in those encounters, he made me feel like I was one of them. My sister Marissa and her late husband Dick, as well as my brother-in-law Topz had their own memorable encounters with Mike. My boyfriend Paul experienced the Grays' warmth and hospitality in Geneva as they kindly hosted lunch for us when we were visiting Geneva. That brief encounter with Mike left a significant impression on Paul, who, along with Marissa and Topz, sends their heartfelt prayers and sympathies to Abel, Naya, and Simon. Mike, thank you for embodying life with boundless love and joy. You were living proof and testament to the goodness humanity strives for. You certainly are not easy to forget, in fact you will always be remembered with a fond smile and a chuckle. Soar with the angels and rest in paradise, Mike.