"You tell me to quiet down cause my opinions make me less beautiful but I was not made with a fire in my belly so I could be put out. I was not made with a lightness on my tongue so I could be easy to swallow. I was made heavy, half blade and half silk, difficult to forget and not easy for the mind to follow." - Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey
In Lieu of Flowers, Send Life...
We are so grateful you choose to come to this living memorial to share your thoughts and photos with us. We included the phrase, "In lieu of flowers, send life" because Abbey asked it to be. What does anyone want but more time with their loved one if only one more minute to hug them and let them know they are loved. This memorial is where you, her friends and family, can send more life.
We need more of the joy, humor, beauty, and even gooberness that Abbey brought into our lives, no matter how brief or life-long your connection. Some of you may want to address your notes to Abbey - feel free to do so if it is helpful to you. She would want everyone to express your feelings of love, gratitude, pain, and grief as freely as she did. It was another one of her many gifts. We thank you.
- Dave, Cindy, Wes, Isabel, and Claire and the lovely Aunt Cristen who set this up.
Abigail “Abbey” Lum, 28, formerly of Madison, Ohio, passed away unexpectedly in her Cleveland home on Monday February 5, 2024. Abigail was born on November 14, 1995, in Austin, Texas.
Abbey graduated from Madison High School in Madison, Ohio in 2014 and attended Ohio University. She was studying to be a sommelier. She loved her family, hiking, nature, manatees, any food with lots of cheese, and cuddling. She will be remembered for her keen intelligence, artistic talent, passion for justice, enormous tender heart, expansive ability to love, and so much more than we could ever say or write.
Abbey is survived by her cherished cats, Suki and Mei, her father, David Lum, her stepmother, Cindy Illig, her siblings, Weston Lum, Claire Lum, and Isabel Illig, her life-long best friend, Gabby Kordic, her grandparents David and Ann Lum and James and Betty Illig, her aunts and uncles, Dennis Lum and Cathy Lallis, Cristen and Joe Mendez, Jim and Linda Illig, and many cousins. She was preceded in death by her paternal grandmother, Carris Wright-Lum.
Abbey’s ashes will be buried with her mother, Alberta “Birdie” Lum, who was laid to rest along with her maternal grandmother Elizabeth Betty Dingle and grandfather, Albert “Perc” Dingle, in North Madison Cemetery along with a memorial to be held at a later date.
Donations can be made in Abbey’s honor to the Planned Parenthood Action fund below. Please visit and contribute to Abbey’s Living Memorial at www.mykeeper.com/profile/AbigailLum/
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About |
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| Name | Abigail Pauline Lum |
| Date of Birth | November 14th, 1995 |
| Date of Death | 2024 |
| Home Town | Madison, OH, US |
| Other City | Cleveland, OH, US |
| In Memoriam Donation | Planned Parenthood Action fund |
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Memorial |
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| Funeral Home | Behm Family Funeral Homes |
| Cemetery | North Madison Cemetery |
| Location | TBD |
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Family |
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| Parents | Cindy Illig, Cindy Louise Illig, Dave Lum |
| Grand-Parents | Albert Percival Dingle, Carris Jean Wright Lum, David Wing Lum, Elizabeth (Betty) Jane Dingle (née Wirtzberger) |
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Milestones |
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| 2000 - 2014 | Madison High School, High School Diploma | ||
| 2017 - 2023 | Server | ||
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published a tribute .
I had the pleasure of meeting Abbey last year at work. I can’t properly put into words the impact she’s had in my life and how much I love and miss her. I’m such a short time we made amazing memories, from impromptu road trips to pool days, wine tasting, to brunch dates and Nelson’s ledges.
Abbey is hands down one of the most genuine, caring, giving and warmest people I’ve ever met and I had such a big heart. We just clicked when we met each other and I knew we were meant to be in each other’s lives.
Abbey I love you and you’ll always be in my heart ❤️
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published a tribute .
Abbey, it's been years since I wrote you last, and it hurts that it has to be in this way. I was so shocked and saddened to hear of your passing - you were such a bright light, and the world is a darker place without you.
We were two kids with big imaginations who loved to make-believe. Running round sand dunes and through fields, seeing evidence of fairies everywhere, building our own Terabithia. You were so kind, so curious, I’ve never seen anyone treat animals and the living world with as much curiosity and awe as you did. There is so much magic in it, as there was in you.
I wish we met again as adults, I will always regret that we didn’t.
Izzy, Claire, Weston, Dave and Cindy - my thoughts are with you all, I send you all my love.
Rest easy Abbey.
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published a tribute .
We are all so sorry to hear about Abbey's passing. What a bright beautiful girl. My fondest memories are the 3 girls always together at someone's house. Because Charissa's name didn't rhyme With the other two Matt always referred to them as Abbey, Gabby and Crabby. That's how I'm always going to cherish those memories. Strength and love to all of you.
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published a tribute .
We are all shocked and saddened to hear of Abbey's sudden passing. We have warm memories of your time in Ireland when Abbey, Izzy and Claire became regular visitors and sleepover guests. We even had the pleasure of a certain rat for a holiday!! We also can't forget our visit to you in Madison all those years ago.
Abbey was a beautiful, kind and caring young woman with a wonderful life before her so brutally cut short.We send all our loving thoughts and wishes to Dave, Cindy, Weston, Claire and Izzy as you navigate this time ❤
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published a tribute .
I'm sorry to hear about Abbey passing. She was so bright and full of love. And will be missed. She was a great friend to me through middle school, we were super close. I will always remember the sleep overs and summers spent together. She was beautiful inside and out. I wrote her a letter to put in her casket and was wondering if there will be any services for her? I would like to attend if so.
Dave, Cindi, Weston, Claire and Izzy I'm so sorry for your loss, she loved you all dearly and I hope you can find peace even when things feel most difficult. Sending all the love and prayers. Let me know if I can attend any service.
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published a tribute .
Saddened to hear of Abbeys passing. Fond memories of you all when you lived in Lordship, Ireland. Thinking of you all at this sad time x
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We saw a photo of you in our house in Lordship last night while looking at pics of Abbey. Nice to see your beautiful face, my fav karaoke partner.
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published a tribute .
It’s taken me a few days to wrap my head around this. I still can’t find the appropriate words. All I know is that your sweet smile and twinkling eyes will be missed greatly by all that knew and loved you. Rest in peace my sweet little cousin
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published a tribute .
Abbey, I have so many fun memories growing up with you that I will forever cherish. From our trips to Columbus with Chelsea, bonfires, back to when walking to meet up with your friends was the only way to hang, and just staying up all night being complete obnoxious weirdos. You were one of a kind and I’m so grateful to have known you. I’ll never forget the good times and thank you for making my teenage years one to remember. Sending all my love and well wishes <3
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published a tribute .
I had the pleasure of growing up living next door to Abbey, Izzy & Claire. Being the oldest of five kids, I never had the "older sibling" relationship but in ways they all made it "feel" like I did. Abbey was always smiling, laughing and was genuinely one of the kindest people that I know. Even after not seeing each other for 8+ years, and running into her one night and getting to talk, that never changed. Abbey's smile & sense of humor, was truly one of kind and will be missed. From teaching me how to climb a tree, to (trying) to teach me how to swim, to showing me the fastest way to beat levels on Super Mario on the Wii, she truly was a great teacher. Not to mention, how great and competitive she was when it came to Badminton and Hide & Seek. She was one of the first people who instilled the ideology of "being kind above all", even at such a young age and I will remember that. My heart breaks for the Lum & Illig families, but at least we all get to know she's in a better place now.
Sending Love & Prayers,
Brandon Lecjaks
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published a comment .
Brandon, I had no idea you remembered any of us this way. You have no idea what it means to me to be able to read your words. That she will be remembered for the kindness and love she gave freely:
Izzy, I may have been young but I have similar memories of you & Claire too! I'm glad I was able to help remember her for who she was and that my words mean something to you.
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Lovely Abbey, I remember the goofiness, the creativity, the absolute natural way you had of being completely and wholly yourself. I regret so that we didn't get to know each other better over the years. My love for you is still here even though you are not, and I am reflecting that love back to your daddy who I adore, your siblings, your Aunt Cris and all the rest who loved you so. Rest peacefully, sweet girl. -Cousin Sharon
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Hey there, beautiful!
Just wanted to drop you a quick message to let you know how much you mean to me. I will always remember all the laughs. You definitely knew how to crack me up! You were pretty fiercely cometitive...like impressive/scary - not bad with a pickleball racket.
It was nice to know that I could always count on you to be the first to come to my defense. I wish you realized how much you were loved in return. You will always be my very pretty, bad ass princess, and I love you more than words can express.
I hope wherever you are, you can finally lean in to that love we talked about. You'll always be in my heart, a light in my life gone to soon. Love you, Aunt Cris.
published a comment .
You are beautiful, Cris! and I don't want to forget to tell you how much Abbey talked about her love for you and the strong connection she felt. You made her feel so very much loved.
published a comment .
So many childhood memories with her and the family. I know your with your mom tell her I said hi. So thankful for all the pictures and memories from when we were young. Taken way you young. Love you miss you forever.
How fortunate you both were to have each other. I understand how lucky she must have felt to have you in her life and in her family, because that's how I feel, too. Remembering, as well, the love my Aunt Carris had for me, and what it meant to me beyond words. Aunties are so important in a woman's life, and you learned from the best how to be one. I love you, Cristen.
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published a comment .
Actually this was the first day of school. Abbey in 4th, Isabel and Claire in 2nd grade, waiting on the bus.
Oh, that's right! (I published this btw not Cristen.)
I thought they were too happy. Leaving for Ireland was a sob fest with their friends.
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published a tribute .
My deepest sympathies to the Lums and and family. My heart is broken with your loss. I will have several masses said for Abbey in Birdie's and Mom's name. She is in God's and Birdie's arms now. I will miss her beautiful soul. I love you Abbey.
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published a tribute .
My heart is broken. Abbey was in my kindergarten class when she lost her dear mom who had been a classroom volunteer. Years later my daughter used her as a model for a photo shoot. She had unique beauty. Sending love to your family.
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published a tribute .
Being best friends with Abbey’s sister growing up, I spent so many nights with her and her family, went on many vacations with them, and had the pleasure of getting to see what a wonderful person Abbey was. We had so many sleep overs staying up all night long, so many summers spent in the pool or playing badminton- we all had so much fun together. My fiancé (her cousin) loved growing up with Abbey and her sisters, too. If it weren’t for Abbey and her family, we never would’ve met and never would have had our son. She will be missed so very much, gone way too soon.
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published a tribute .
Abbey,
I will always remember the fun times we had at OU our freshman year in 2014. You truly knew how to make everyone around you smile and were always there to listen and turn a bad mood around. You will be missed.
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published a tribute .
Abbey, Lum and Illig family, my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Abbey and I grew up together and I have so many memories with her. From playing in the treehouse, the Halloween parties, claiming ourselves as the 3 musketeers (with Dj), constantly annoying Weston and all of his friends, emailing back and forth constantly when you moved to Ireland, almost catching your bed on fire playing with incense, your immense love for your pet rat and Curly, swimming at your grandparents home, and so many more. You cared about others so deeply. I still to this day think of you when I see photos or videos of manatees.
- Amy Jones (Brettrager)
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published a tribute .
Sweet Abby, I never met you, but would hear stories about you from your mom Cindy, I could tell then that you were loved by so many, that your light touched so many. Rest in paradise, beautiful soul.
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published a tribute .
I am so saddened to hear of Abbey’s passing. Some of my fondest childhood memories is when our two families holiday together. There are pictures of our trip to America/Canada all around our home in Ireland.
Abbey had a kind and bubbly energy that was wonderful to be around.
Thinking of you all Dave, Cindy, Westen, Claire, and Izzy. Sending so much love to you during this difficult time x
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published a tribute .
Sweet Abbey, Illig and Lum family, I love you all so much and have the best childhood memories from our houses on south watling way.. so many sleepovers, Halloween parties and just so many fun times. My favorite memory of Abbey out of them all is finding a frog in the backyard, making it a box home, naming it Mystery and making up a song about it. I could sing the song to this day I’ll never forget it. She was the absolute best. Sending you all the love and prayers.
-Deanna “DJ”
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