Felipe De Jesus Marquez-Lexow

Felipe I had to drive out to Dufur and 8 mile, today. I needed to hear Felipe’s wonderful goofy laugh and his voice saying, “Hi Kate.” I wanted to feel his hug. Felipe gave the best hugs. He enveloped you with his openness. I remembered how he’d charcoal his hotdogs and marshmallows over the fire. Man, did he love fires! I can hear his 5 year-old squeaky voice saying he wanted to be a “farderfider” (fire fighter) when he grew up. I can see Felipe riding his bike, flailing his skinny 7 year-old legs just praying his little feet wouldn’t slide off his pedals and he didn’t Jack knife. He wore socks with his sandals just like his grandpa. If he wiped out, Felipe would jump up and say, “I’m ok! I’m ok!” even thru tears. His mom had told him if he got hurt, he couldn’t do it, again. His pain she felt deeply. Felipe was always first one up at the butt crack of dawn just waiting for next person up to tell about dream, how fast he could go on motorcycle with Uncle Mike, the new trick he could do or what he’d created with his imagination. We’d sit sleepy eyed and barely awake brain as he’d happily chatter away. He called all his cousins Cousin. “Hi Cousin” he’d say when he’d run up in excitement at family gatherings. We teased that he’d be a good host or waiter at our local Cousin’s restaurant. They always greet with a “Howdy cousin.” Oh how Felipe’s deep voice he returned from his papa’s with at 12 years-old made “Hi Kate” ring in my body like a chant of “Om” Sitting at our old campsite, I got to go back in my mind to when we hiked the deadfall at 8 mile with 16 year-old Felipe and his buddies in hopes of catching glimpse of Bigfoot. It was so much fun jumping from fallen trees, balancing on the long trunks as we used them as bridges, listening to the banter and laughter of those teenage boys. They were so loud there was no way a Bigfoot or any wild life would come out of hiding. Later that night, I’d see the boys thru the trees, their shadows dancing with playfulness around their fire as they talked, laughed and wrestled. Felipe sharing his Lexow family with his circle of “brothers” while claiming his independence camping in his own spot. Felipe exposed his love and tenderness with his girlfriend Maddie as she came out to camp, too. He loved deeply and felt for each of us sincerely. Felipe’s boyhood lankiness had turned to muscles and presence upon his return from Army bootcamp at 19. He was a protector before, but, he seemed even more so. Felipe always went out of his way to show he loved. He was inclusive to any age and you knew it. At least, I knew it and witnessed his kindness and compassion. Time slipped away quickly with his adult freedom and our small family moving away. Years seemed to disappear with contact rare and far between. A surprise Christmas visit, a text or call seemed to barely fill the gap. I treasure the years of simple love in what seemed the day to day life that Felipe shared with me in his childhood. I relish each savory memory.