Mariya Reznitsky

Michael Reznitsky

Давно свеча надежды оплыла,
Устал я жить впотьмах, устал бороться,
А Истина - всё там же, где была:
Лежит на дне бездонного колодца.

Коэлет (Экклесиаст). Перевод Михаила Резницкого, 2004 г.

1 июля 2026 года Миша ушел от нас.  Его уход был неожиданным, но он меня не обманул, он всегда говорил, что не будет долго болеть, а умрет в одночасье. Так и случилось. 1 июля мы собирались ехать в спортивный зал, он почувствовал себя плохо. В скорой была остановка сердца, в госпитале его спасти не смогли. Случись это на полчаса позже, когда он должен был сидеть за рулем, кто знает, что бы произошло.

Почему именно сейчас в 88 лет, зачем было так торопиться? Если повернуть цифру восемь на бок (в горизонтальное положение), получается математический символ бесконечности. Многие обращали на это внимание.У пианино восемьдесят восемь клавиш. В азбуке Морзе это сокращение означает "любовь и поцелуи".На ночном небе насчитывается 88 созвездий.Я даже прочитала про возраст Микеланджело, он тоже умер в 88 лет, и про метафору " Двух бесконечностей". Где первая восьмерка символизирует бесконечность пройденного пути на земле , а вторая — бесконечность, в которую уходит душа. Все это очень интересно, но не помогает осознать утрату.

7 июля мы с внуком забрали урну с прахом из похоронного бюро, перешли дорогу, зашли в православный храм, зажгли свечки за упокой. 19 июля в воскресенье соседки накрыли столы в обеденном зале нашего дома. Начали с традиционной поминальной еды: кутьи и бульона с домашней лапшой. Продолжили пирогами, тушеной говядиной и всякими разносолами. Миша был бы доволен. Было сказано много добрых слов, вспоминали забавные истории. Накануне мы с внуком повесили большой портрет Миши и установили манекен в его любимом белом костюме.

Все было на удивление банально. В какой-то момент я разозлилась, как же так! Ведь он должен был прожить еще хотя бы лет семь. И уровень сахара в крови, и давление  - все было под контролем, и сердце никогда не болело. Может я сделала что-то не так, недосмотрела. Мой психолог позже объяснила мне, что я ни в чем не виновата, что все дело в теломерах.  Какое забавное утешение.

Пришло 26 человек, что весьма удивительно, т.к. многие годы Миша практически ни с кем не общался. Он так и не узнал, что за неделю до него в Петербурге умерла его сокурсница Вика Санина, а  еще раньше 1 февраля умер его одноклассник, с которым они сидели за одной партой и дружили всю жизнь, Алик Гуревич. Вечная им память.  Из школьных друзей остались двое: Боря в Нью-йорке и Валера в Петербурге.

Миша всегда отличался жизнелюбием. После него остались  4 дочери и один сын. Все от разных женщин. И еще три взрослых внука, а может уже и больше. Он считал себя похожим на главных героев фильмов "Жил певчий дрозд" и "Осенний марафон".

Не так давно Мише пришло послание из Германии от его младшей дочери. Он знал о ее существовании, но она не знала, кто ее отец. Как это модно сейчас, она сдала тест ДНК, показавший 50 еврейской крови. Расспросы родных и знакомых помогли выяснить имя родителя. Мы списались, созвонились. Буквально за несколько дней до смерти он впервые поговорил по телефону со своей  дочкой и пригласил ее на 89-летие, предложил покатать по Калифорнии, но не получилось. Этот разговор произвел на него сильное впечатление. Она даже ночью ему снилась.

Чего еще можно желать? Чуть меньше месяца назад Миша вернулся из долгожданного круиза. Хоть и не в лучшей физической форме, он побывал там, где мечтал побывать. За 10 дней до смерти он посетил музей Почетного Легиона и выставку искусства этрусков, сходил на органный концерт. За неделю он веселился на дне рождении одной из наших соседок. Он обрел ребенка, которого считал утерянным для себя. Про построенный дом и выращенные деревья  говорить не приходится, все сбылось. И изобретения, и книги стихов, и музыка, которая все время рождалась в его голове, все это было в свое время. Получается, что жизнь удалась. Он всегда говорил, что у него  особые отношения  с Господом Богом . Значит, за что-то Бог его любил и дал легкую смерть.

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Michael Reznitsky

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