Judith Irene Seaman Garner

Dear Mom, i can't put into words how missed you are. Even with the doctors telling us of the severity of your disease. I guess my mind couldn't truly process what they were actually saying. You were right about my not coping with it well, i through away the life i had build n an instant, 100% lost in grief so painful. All feelings turned to hate, hurt, deep sadness, and a feeling of being entirely alone in this world. It wqs too much fore to accept. S, isteqd of being the man you madee over the years, i turned to to heqvy drugs, in a half assed attempt to join you in deqth. But after only a few months i knew i had to stop, and found a rehqb center in yalima that in patients me for 28 days, that was in Auguat, its Januqry now and while still roqming the country looking for some kind of hole, i still have my sobriety, and will live what2ver life i have to livein honor pf your name, and everything you so graciously gave to me alomg our lifes shared path. I wish it could have continued forever. You were the mpat genuinely caring, forever giving, biggest hearted human being ill ever have the honor prlf knpwing, and lucky me, she was my mother! I love you sooo so much mpm qnd miss you more that i know how to write. I will keep lookomg for signs from you, hope to find one soon Ma, your forever grateful, loving son.