Ronald Gregoire

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. --Thomas Campbell Ronald Joseph Gregoire, born May 28, 1953 in Worcester, Massachusetts, died March 5, 2022 in Lexington, North Carolina was a big-hearted, generous man who loved life and lived it to the fullest. He had many interests, spurred by his love of reading and learning, and was eager to try his hand at just about anything. He was devoted to the love and care of his "other half", Beth Agnello, for more than thirty years and was an attentive, loving son both to his own parents (William and Eleanor Hanam Gregoire) and to Beth's (Les and Gene Agnello). Ron was never bored and never boring. He always kept his sense of humor! Ron's childhood was shaped and enriched by his close relationship with his older brother, Russell Gregoire. Russell included Ron, though he was 6-1/2 years younger, in his own activities and friendships, treating him more like a peer than a tag-along kid brother. Ron's confidence in his own abilities and willingness to take on the world were likely borne out of his early adventures with his big brother and best friend. What a gift young Russell gave his little brother! Ron had a large extended family with many aunts, uncles and cousins, but a small immediate family, just his parents and Russell. He had one nephew, Garth Gregoire, who he enjoyed spending time with from the time he was small. Ron was able to balance being the adult in charge and the fun uncle when Garth was a child. Garth, Russ, and Ron had many adventures together-the three skippys on the loose. From Ralph Snart comic books, to candlepin bowling, they loved to laugh and cause mischief together! As time went by and they lived farther apart, there were fewer opportunities to sit down together to play cribbage. But Ron looked forward to talking and texting with Garth, sharing their interest in music, cars and the various hands on projects each was working on. Ron never forgave his dad for taking him to kindergarten and getting him started on a K-12 education that never sat well with him. Amazingly, his love of learning survived his dislike of school! Though his first run at college at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst was a bust, he went on to complete his B.S. at Clark University in 1988, graduating magne cum laude, completing all of his course work in four years, taking classes at night while working fulltime in machine tool sales. Nature in all of her variations fascinated Ron his entire life. He appreciated all of the earth's beauty, but especially the mountains. When he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in February 2021, he was in the process of realizing one of his dreams and moving to live full-time in his home in the Blue Ridge Mountains. He enjoyed most outdoor activities-hiking, camping, cycling, swimming, canoeing, skiing, boating, and scuba and free diving. He made thousands of dives in the cold waters of his native New England and loved hunting lobsters (which he didn't eat and gave away or traded to friends for steaks). In 1990, after a divorce, Ron sold his home and most of his belongings and headed south to work as a scuba instructor in the warm waters of the Gulf of California and Caribbean. He met Beth when he was running the dive operation at the Club Med in Vieux Forte, Saint Lucia. She was a disgruntled arriving guest, directed to Ron after several of his staff couldn't satisfy her concerns. He maintained throughout his life that his interest in Beth was only "doing my job and making sure that every guest went home smiling". From Club Med, he traveled to Grand Cayman where he ran a one man dive operation for several months so the owner could take a break, then in late 1991 moved to New York City with Beth. Soon they were planning to buy a sailboat to live aboard for a move to the Caribbean. In 1995, Ron and Beth sailed out of Huntington, NY on the sailboat Phoebe Alice, which he had outfitted over several years. They spent eight years, mainly based in St. Thomas, USVI, taking guests on sailing and diving vacations. Ron liked to master all of his interests and earned a 500 ton US Coast Guard Master license. Though his technical and sailing expertise were top notch, he really shone when hosting guests, telling stories, leading snorkeling and diving trips and shore excursions, teaching sailing and boat handling, and surprising guests with a different napkin fold for each night's dinner (they would incorrectly assume that this was Beth's work). Ron was always interested in technology. On returning to the mainland and settling in North Carolina in 2003, he decided to make computers his career. He studied, earned certifications, and did volunteer work to get the experience he needed. In his final career iteration, Ron combined his concern for others, tech savvy, and joy in problem solving as a computer tech. In his years at Davidson County Community College, his friendly helpfulness touched students and staff alike. Ron enjoyed sharing his knowledge as much as learning new things and was a gifted teacher. He trained many aspiring scuba divers and was a talented high performance driving instructor-many of his students progressed to club racing Miatas. Beth and Ron together enjoyed a decade of driving their Miatas on road race tracks and instructing high performance driving. It takes a special person to teach older adults, and Ron was one! He taught basic skills-reading, writing and math, to seniors in Pamlico county. His students ranged in age from their early 60s to their mid-90s. He gave a lot of thought to coming up with interesting ways to engage them. Once he used a globe and various sized balls to create an in-class 3D demonstration of the operation of the solar system. The students responded to Ron because they could feel how he not only cared for them but respected them. His classroom was one where knowledge and experience were shared by all-he didn't think he had that market cornered. He brought home wonderful stories about his students' lives, a glimpse into lives very different from our own. Later, Ron would teach computer skills courses at senior centers. For a tech savvy guy, he displayed tremendous patience and a willingness to meet his students where they were. Music was always a pleasure for Ron, both listening and making his own. Like most people of his generation, he loved rock and roll, but also folk, blues, soul and reggae. While he admired many of the best known bands and musicians, those who were not mainstream held a special place in his heart, like rock and roller Garland Jeffries and folk musician Tom Rush. In recent years, Ron considered himself the biggest North Carolina fan of modern troubadour Matt Nakoa. He was a fervent fan of these musicians and others whose musical careers didn't include wide-spread fame. Ron remembered details of all of the concerts he attended over the years. He treated his vinyl collection and audio system with tender loving care. He not only enjoyed listening to others, but also liked to sing and had an abiding interest in learning and playing the blues harmonica. Ron was always willing to try out new musical genres, eagerly accompanying Beth and her dad to hear Les' favorite big band swing music and to indulge Beth's interest in the symphony. While in North Carolina, Ron became an avid cyclist and renewed his love of hiking and camping. When work and caring for Beth's elderly father curtailed their ability to travel, Ron pursued local hobbies: ham radio (call sign W4UDB), table tennis, woodworking, watch collecting and repair, canoeing, hiking. His interests knew no bounds. Ron read voraciously in many genres and loved libraries. He visited book stores and libraries on his travels and was a regular at the North Davidson branch library during his last 17 years. He enjoyed chatting with the librarians just as much as browsing and borrowing books. Ron enjoyed traveling, experiencing new places and cultures and getting to know new people. Though he spoke only English, his intuition and willingness to look silly allowed him to understand and be understood by people with whom he didn't share a language. One of Beth's favorite memories is of Ron successfully describing a pump-up bug sprayer, using only sound effects and gestures, in a hardware store in Venezuela. He lived in Mexico and the Caribbean, as well as Kansas City, New York, North Carolina and his native Massachusetts. He enjoyed exploring locally and afar and had plans to do more traveling when his cancer overtook him. Ron was proud to have honorably served in the Marine Corps in Kansas City near the end of the Vietnam War. He credited his training and experience as a marine with helping him become the strong, independent, resourceful person he was. Semper Fidelis! Oorah! Participating in a Queen City Honor Flight to visit the war memorials in Washington DC in 2018 was a life-changing experience for Ron-he finally felt valued for serving his country. The most important, constant, and enduring of Ron's qualities was his kindness (some friends might say his stubbornness-a close second!). Ron was kind to family, friends and strangers alike. He looked for opportunities to help people and put the needs of others before his own throughout his life. For more than a decade, he whole-heartedly supported and helped Beth in her efforts to care for her parents, even though it took her time and energy away from him. He never complained. When Beth's dad moved to an assisted living in North Carolina in 2014, Ron devoted himself to Les' care and happiness. What a joy it was for Les to have a close relationship with another man and not be solely dependent on his daughter for day-to-day support. Ron was loving, patient, and respectful with Les, going out of his way to treat him with dignity. Even when his cancer and treatment wore him down and weakened him physically, his concern for others remained. Lying in an ICU bed, following a long, dangerous, emergency surgery that he knew he might not survive, Ron told his ICU nurse that he was concerned about the patient in the next room, that she was terminally ill and alone, and he wanted to go visit with her to comfort her. When you remember Ron, do so with an act of kindness! The end of Ron's life was spent with frequent medical interventions due to his cancer and its treatment. He was able to endure this trauma (make no mistake-having cancer is traumatic) with the loving support of many healthcare workers in the Veterans' Administration and at Wake Forest Baptist Health. These individuals overcame the limitations of an often brutal bureaucracy to take the time to listen to what Ron wanted and then to work to deliver it. He felt seen, heard, and cared for by Jeff, Rosalind, Anita, Melanie, Dr. Lauren Schmalz and the entire team in Oncology at the VA, by Community Care Nurse Navigator Michele Madison, by home-base primary care team leader Janet Parker and her team, by Joey Smith and all of the good friends at Pulmonary Rehab, and especially by his pulmonologist, Dr. Katherine Gershner. Kate walked beside us every step of this path, coordinating Ron's care with all of the various specialists and helping us to understand what the options were and how they might work for Ron. She did not disappear or get uncomfortable when it was clear that there was no cure available but instead helped us get the care that would most enhance Ron's quality of life. And she was available to us 24/7, day and night, on holidays, responding to every text and phone call. The comfort her care afforded Ron and Beth was a life saver. You may remember Ron as a smoker. He started young and smoked unfiltered Camels for 43 years. He successfully quit in May 2009 after a formidable battle with nicotine addiction. Smoking doubled Ron's risk of developing esophageal cancer. The radiation treatment he underwent irreparably damaged his lungs and disabled him. No one would choose to die this way…but we can choose to decrease our odds and not use tobacco. Ron is survived by his life partner, Beth Agnello; brother Russell Gregoire and Beth Sykier, nephew Garth Gregoire and Kerrie, great niece Ginger Gregoire, uncle Francis Hanam and aunt June, uncle Russell Hanam and aunt Irene, and many cousins and friends. Beth requests that you not send food or flowers. Instead, please donate in Ron's memory to a charity that supports the hungry, the homeless, or the Ukraine.