Kenny Landes

Kenny entered the world on August 5th, 1967 in Kansas City, Missouri as the first born son of Patrick and Jean Landes. The next year, he was joined by his brother Ronnie, and the family was eventually completed with the additions of his sisters, Karen, and 10 years later, Renai. Kenny spent his youth in the Kansas City suburb of Blue Springs where he loved observing monarch butterflies on their migratory journey to and from Mexico. A fan of the arts from a young age, he participated in drama at Blue Springs High School and played guitar for the church choir every Sunday. In 1985, the Landes family fled the humid Missouri summers in favor of a more pleasant climate in San Diego. 

Kenny enrolled at San Diego State University (SDSU) where he enjoyed a rich social life as a member of Alpha Gamma Omega (Epsilon Chapter) and met his wife, Lisa. Kenny and Lisa were married for 4 years and had one daughter, Lauren. The following year launched a difficult chapter in Kenny’s life as he came out to his family, moved to San Francisco, lost his dear brother Ronnie to cancer, and tried to reckon with abuse he had faced at the hands of a priest at his parish in Kansas City. In an attempt to cope with these experiences, some light partying turned into complete drug addiction. The late 90s offered Kenny a wake up call and he made the decision to check into rehab and reclaim his life.  

As the world transitioned into a new millennium, Kenny was engaged in an act of complete and radical personal transformation. He returned to San Diego, reconnected with his family and daughter, and formed new and lasting friendships. Kenny became a father again - this time to an adorable kitten he affectionately named Killer. Kenny also resumed his college education, first at Mesa College, and then at SDSU, where he finished in 2005 with the highest GPA in his college’s graduating class. In addition to earning his Bachelor of Arts degree with an emphasis in Graphic Design, he earned membership in the Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society, Alpha Gamma Sigma California Honor Society, and was on the Dean’s List at Mesa College, SDSU, and on the national level. Kenny was also active in the LGBTQ student union and in anonymous organizations helping addicts and alcoholics recover. 

With a new and firm foundation of stability and support, Kenny faced the most profound trauma in his life head on by filing a lawsuit in 2003 against the priest in Kansas City who abused him. His lawsuit joined with others which represented 47 survivors who collectively faced abuse from 12 different Kansas City priests. The legal battle lasted 6 years and was described as one of the broadest of any of the clergy abuse settlements. The lawsuit voided all prior non-disclosure agreements, enabling other abuse survivors to end their silence. Additionally, the settlement included many terms to hold the church accountable and prevent future abuse.

Amid his lawsuit, Kenny launched his graphic design career working in Las Vegas for the MGM casino group. When his daughter flew out to visit, Kenny took pride in pointing out the advertisements he had designed which were on display in the airport’s baggage claim area and throughout the city. After a few years, Kenny moved back to San Francisco and continued his work in graphic design. 

Kenny’s life flourished in San Francisco. In 2008, he joined an AIDS marathon training group and completed the San Francisco Marathon. Extending his love of art to his body, he began thoughtfully acquiring a collection of meaningful tattoos. One was a bouquet that included all the birth month flowers of his family members. Another was a phoenix (that he sketched himself) to symbolize his rebirth and transformation through many hardships in life. Yet another was a SeaBees tattoo in homage to his father’s time in the US Navy. Kenny loved dancing and regularly participated in group flagging meet ups at a local park. One of his favorite ways to relax was sunbathing on nude beaches, whether at Baker Beach, in San Francisco, Blacks Beach in San Diego, or on vacation at Zipolite Beach in Mexico. He enjoyed sharing meals with friends and family, after which it was customary for him to pat his stomach and exclaim “stuffed like turkey, full like pig!” Kenny shared many of these years with his long-term partner, Jim. Facing a shortage of hair on his head, Kenny grew one heck of a beard. He took pride in grooming it to model-like standards, sought out the best barbers, and shared tips with other beard aficionados on online forums. His beard went through different phases of lengths and colors, but one of the most notable forms was a longer white beard which would lead kids to call him santa.

Throughout the years, Kenny loved sharing his life through writing on social media and on personal blogs. His writing was deeply personal and touched many people with his ability to express his thoughts and feelings. In 2014, he wrote about the Affordable Care Act and how much of a difference similar legislation would have made in his brother Ronnie’s battle with cancer. In 2015, Kenny wrote about the Supreme Court’s marriage equality ruling and how profound of an impact it had on LGBTQ couples. In both instances, his cousin Annette sent Kenny’s posts to the White House. In return, Kenny received two personal letters from President Obama and a photo of the White House illuminated in Pride colors.

In 2018, Kenny decided to change things up and relocate to Mexico, a place he described as enchanting. There, he rediscovered the beloved monarch butterflies of his youth - this time at the other end of their migration. Kenny pivoted his career and became an English teacher, a profession he loved for the difference it made in people’s lives. Always an expert of the places he lived, he enjoyed learning how to cook Mexican food, learning about Mexican culture, and visiting museums. In another shift, Kenny became a dog person, and loved taking his dogs Milo, Luna, and Xiao on a long walk to the park everyday. He wrote about snippets of his life in Mexico on his blog, Kenny in Mexico.

Kenny’s colorful life came to a dark end in the early hours of August 26th, 2024 in a senseless act of violence at the hand of his husband. He died alongside his dogs Milo and Xiao, who likely came to his defense. Kenny’s husband, Jose, was killed while attempting to flee from custody, taking away any opportunity to ever understand what happened. Kenny will be remembered for his bright spirit and sense of humor. He was compassionate, fiercely supportive and always ready to offer sound advice to his family and friends. Kenny will live on in the hearts and minds of those who knew him. If you knew Kenny, please contribute your memories to this page.