Joseph Leonard Bograd

Eulogy for Joseph Bograd

By Mark Bograd

First, I want to thank everyone who braved the weather or the internet to be here.  It means an enormous amount to Naomi, Harriet, Louis, Stephanie and me to have you all here.

I have always rued the day when I would have to write and deliver this.  I have, we all have, lost a friend, a mentor, a keen intellect.  How do you take on the enormity of talking about a man like Joe Bograd?  In many ways I am perhaps the most privileged person here.  He was my father, my business partner and in this most strange of years, I was his closest companion -- joining him for dinners most weeks, and speaking to him many times a day.

He was a big man with a personality to match.  He commanded the room in any space he was in.  He had no fear of speaking and liked being a focus of attention.  However, it wasn’t just about receiving attention.  It was about giving back, whether a story, an opinion, a joke.  He enjoyed conversation and building relationships.

Many years ago, Bograd’s published a magazine which was of course named Joe. He wrote an article entitled, Joe Bograd, 4F.  In it, he identified his passions, since he did everything passionately.  With slight editorial license, the four “F’s” were his friends, his family, furniture and food.

Friends

Mom and dad were always on the move with friends.  They kept a dizzying schedule.  Their temple friends were frequent companions whether at the opera or NJPAC; at the theater or through frequent dinners.  They also made friends everywhere… in the industry, at market, while on vacation, and at restaurants.  Some of these friendships trace back to his childhood.  For dad, nothing was more meaningful than reaching out to so many of you whether in person or by phone.  My father was a people person and it showed.

Family

Family was of special importance.  Mom and Dad tried and largely succeeded at being at all family events whether happy or sad.  It was what one did.  Joe was always a presence at these gatherings.  He could hold his own with the garrulous Goldstone’s on my Mom’s side and became the patriarch on the Bograd side.  He loved family dinners, not simply for the food.  I can see him at the head of the table holding forth on this thing or that.  There were the Hannukah parties hosted by Naomi and Ed, Break Fast with Ann and Steve.  So many others were at their house.  Their Passover seders were always a favorite growing up.  My cousin Margie commented on how she looked forward to the “Af” song every year.  For different reasons, I am not sure I will ever get his singing voice out of my head.

Joe grew up in Paterson with a network of friends and cousins represented by so many of you here.  The Bograd and Yucht families were truly one big family.  Naomi and Harriet were blessed by this and apparently by a great big brother.  Louis, Stephanie, and I and by extension Marion, Danny and Jean all have our own great memories.  To his grandchildren Evan, Ben, Max and Sadie, you know how much and how proud Grandpa was of each of you.  Grandma and Grandpa wished for you to follow your desires, wherever they may lead.

Furniture

Bograd’s and the furniture industry was a huge part of his life.  Truly a second family.  Much of who I am as a person originates in him and the business.  I find myself invoking my father all the time.  It is strange to say that I found my moral compass in the furniture business.  But I did. He taught me, as Joe learned from Sam and Pauline, to treat everyone with respect, be they supplier, customer or employee; to always choose to do the right thing; to seek fairness over advantage; to be earnest and do what you say.  Life wasn’t about getting ahead of others, but about getting along with them.  He ran Bograd’s that way and built one of the most respected businesses in the furniture industry.

I traveled the furniture market with my parents for many years, and I saw the impact he had.  He was an icon.  People sought out his opinion and he was happy to give it whether he liked what he was seeing or not.  If he was critical, it was not because he was negative.  It was because he cared.   No one cared more.  He loved the furniture business and the people in it and wanted it to succeed.  Joe took real joy in the resurgence the industry has enjoyed over the past six months.

Food

But no celebration of Joe Bograd would be complete without talking about his love for food.  He loved to eat it, talk about it, and think about it.  Mornings were often taken up with planning dinner.  It was nearly always a positive experience.  Dad was constantly commenting at meals how this was the best he’d ever had.  Menu planning for Joe Bograd was easy, there really was nothing he didn’t like.  My boys joke about how he could bring the word rhubarb into just about any conversation. Fittingly, the last email I got from him was a recipe for Easy and Delicious Slow Cooker Cassoulet.  He wrote,” In case you’re ever interested, I love cassoulet.”

He delighted in his restaurants.  He enjoyed trips with mom to celebrated establishments in New York and Paris, but also loved so many local places-- Berta’s, Monica’s, Oceanos, Tomo’s, Vila Verde and Rosemary and Sage.  During the pandemic, he loved to tell me what he ordered in for dinner.  The beleaguered restaurant industry has lost its best customer.

I would be remiss, if I didn’t mention and thank Nana who cared for Joe over the past year.  He would speak of you fondly as “my Nana”.  You helped bring the support that dad needed to maintain an independent life.

Dad, I am sorry you are gone, and I will miss your big HELLO and friendship, but you left us mentally keen and still full of life.  I can’t and wouldn’t want to think about you any other way.  You will be reunited with mom.  You were an ideal couple and you belong together.  Even though you maintained your optimistic attitude after her death, I know it wore on you.  Now the two of you get to travel on your next journey together.  There is a table for two waiting for you in heaven.