Andrew Shirey

*** Due to unexpected circumstances, the venue has been changed to Glen Abbey Memorial Park - Chapel of Roses in Bonita, at the same time and date. Our apologies for any inconvenience this may cause. *** 

"My Son Andrew" written by His Momma

On May 15, 2021, I lost my beautiful and loving son Andrew. God Blessed me with Andrew’s heart for 39 short years. My son’s time here on earth ended much too soon for me, for Andrew’s sons Little Andrew and Ramses, his wife Catherine, his dad Ken and stepmom Lissette, his brothers Tony and Kenny, his step sisters Paula and Ybon, and many of our dear family and close friends.

I am so grateful for the month of March 2021 when he and Catherine stayed with me temporarily, because I can share with all of you what I observed about my son during this time.

My son Andrew lived every day during this time, from morning till night, trying to make sure all those around him were happy and comfortable and enjoyed saying silly things to make us laugh, which in turn made him laugh too.

He loved bringing his sons over to Nenne’s (that’s me) house because he knew him and his boys would have a fun time together swimming, eating, and just playing around.

Andrew even made sure he cleaned the kitchen up after himself because he knew that’s the way I liked it.

He loved his wife Catherine so much and did what he could to take care of her, like after Catherine’s long day of work, Andrew loved cooking a good meal for her and making sure she was feeling good and relaxed.  As a mom, I felt so proud to see my son in this manner. Andrew especially loved it when his brother Tony and little Andrew would also eat what he cooked because we were all living together at this time and Andrew had a lot of pride in cooking for others.

Andrew loved to hug and kiss his boys ever since they were born and continued that affection their entire lives, like when they were just laying around or if he was just in the mood to do so, and my grandsons loved that! Andrew loved his boys with his entire heart, soul, and mind and would tell me many times that he wants to be a better daddy for his sons, and make up for the times when he was not around.

What I also saw in my son during this time is the struggle he still had with his drug addiction.  I know because my son was drinking this natural powder substance called Kratom, that helped take away his addictive symptoms, which he faithfully drank twice a day at 8:00 in the morning and at night.  Andrew even said his body would tell him when it was time to take his drink because he would start to feel anxiety as the Kratom would wear off.

Unfortunately, my son relapsed and fell into his addiction once again.  The drugs he last took were laced with Fentanyl. This drug is now the latest episode of so many people dying due to Fentanyl laced in Heroin and other substances, which is what caused my son to come to taking his final breath.  I know my son wanted to stop his addiction and he tried his best to make his life for his boys and his wife a happy, quality, and meaningful life with them.

I need to also share what I learned and realized about addiction that truly opened my eyes to what my son struggled with for so many, too many, years.  I attended a NAR-ANON meeting that supports the family and friends of addicts, and the only reason I did this is because of one of my boy’s close school friend who himself is an addict convinced me to go to one in San Diego and that he would be there too to support me.  All I know is that I was truly emotional, could not stop crying during the entire session and was so drained from this experience that I felt as if I could not do this again.

I ended up attending my second NAR-ANON meeting, but this time with my son Kenny, and in this meeting there were over 40 people in attendance.  A woman Mary led the meeting, read the commandments for addicts, listened to one member who talked about her addict, her very young son who was an addict since in his teen age, spent his entire college fund on drugs and she did not know where her son was at that time.  Then they allowed others to speak of their own addict, open up about their story, with no interaction, and this went on until everyone was done.

Every single time I thought to speak up and tell my story, I would choke up and literally could not say a word because I would start hyperventilating.  Eventually my son Kenny spoke up and the first words out of his mouth was “our addict is my older brother who I always looked up to”.  OMG!  I just broke out in tears and could not catch my breath I was crying so much.  The kind woman next to me held my hand and kept rubbing my arm to console me while I was breaking down.

After the meeting, Mary came up to me and Kenny and said something that I'll never forget. There are some people who can take the very same drugs that Andrew did, and then be able to stop and move on with their lives. Mary pointed out, THAT is the difference with Andrew. He couldn't simply walk away. His use became an addiction, which is a DISEASE, something that all of us do not realize. It was through her words that my eyes and heart were opened to what my son was truly dealing with in his life.

I wish I could have done more to convince my son to seek a support group to help him deal with his struggles. I spoke with several recovering addicts, one who was a recovering heroin addict for twenty years, and he said, “there is not one day that goes by that he doesn't think about taking heroin,” and like the others I spoke with, if it was not for the support groups, they know they would have relapsed.

My son always felt he could stop his addiction on his own and although he was successful for several years, it seems he easily relapsed and lost another fight to try and stay clean.

I pray my son’s story touches some of you that are, or know anyone else who is, dealing with the same type of addiction that my son had and to have faith in knowing THERE ARE many support groups dedicated to helping to save the lives of people with addictions, and support families and friends of addicts during a very difficult and painful time.

My son Andrew lost this last battle to drugs, but his Love, Kindness, and his Spirit to make others happy is what will live on in my Heart, the Hearts of Andrew’s Sons Little Andrew and Ramses, the Heart of his wife Catherine, the Hearts of his Dad Ken and Stepmom Lissette, the Hearts of his Brothers Tony and Kenny, the Hearts of his Step Sisters Paula and Ybon, the mother of his children and friend Marlene, and all the Hearts of our Dear Family and Close Friends. 

You are welcome to join us at the Memorial Service and Viewing for Andrew on Friday May 28th, 2021. And if you can, here, please share some special messages and stories, or add memorable photos and videos of Andrew that will help keep his memory alive in this special site in honor of my son Andrew.