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Shana Nova Borenstein

Shana Nova Borenstein

September 24th, 1982 - 2020

"Growing up doesn't have to mean abandoning anything, except the illusion that you are immortal, and the romantic fantasy that you will probably die in a sudden blaze of glory, a righteous shoot-out with the police, or a well-timed overdose when everything is otherwise great. Chances are, a few of us will die in a dramatic or sudden way, but most of us will get sick, or (if we are fortunate) very old." --Shana Borenstein, 2004

Biography


Shana Nova Borenstein, beloved daughter, sister, aunt, and friend, died suddenly of unknown causes. She is survived by her parents, Trina and Nathaniel Borenstein, her sisters, Lea (Michael) Grover and Miriam (Daniel) Mora, her nieces, Sophia, Deborah, and Rivka Grover, her nephew, Judah Mora, and her husband, Kirk Kitchen.


Shana was born in Pittsburgh, PA, but the most formative years of her childhood were lived in Morristown, NJ. It was there she began to show her deep insightfulness, her unwavering loyalty to her friends, and her sense of adventure. When her family moved to Ann Arbor, MI at the onset of her teen years, she quickly met the friends who became a second, chosen family throughout her life. Shana's ties to her friends, community, and family meant the world to her.


She was dedicated to addressing sources of injustice in her world, whether protesting Trump's immigration policies or supporting local LGBTQIA health services. Her nieces held a special place in her heart, and she was looking forward to building a meaningful relationship with her new nephew, as well.


Over the last twelve years, Shana overcame hardships that she once believed insurmountable, becoming the incredible woman we all believed she could be, and more. It has been one of the most profound joys to her parents and sisters to have her in their lives, the best Shana of all possible Shanas, funny and smart and compassionately present. She was a gift to all of us, and to the world. And she is horribly missed.


There are no current plans for a funeral, but the family will be sitting Shiva virtually. Details are forthcoming.


In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Shana's memory to Howard Brown Health Centers, https://howardbrown.org/

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Family

About

Name Shana Nova Borenstein
Date of Birth September 24th, 1982
Date of Death 2020
Home Town Ann Arbor, MI, US 
Other City Chicago, IL, US 
In Memoriam Donation Howard Brown Health
Family

Family

SiblingsLea Rachel Grover, Miriam Eve Mora
ParentsNathaniel Solomon Borenstein, Trina Rae Borenstein
Grand-ParentsDeborah Borenstein, Judith Jay Glasser, Lawrence Glasser, Stanley Borenstein

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Tributes



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Lea Grover published a tribute .

I spent my whole childhood trying to live up to Shana, and my whole adulthood craving her approval. She is the coolest older sister you could imagine, and became the coolest aunt, making it look like the best role in the world.

I am heartbroken over her loss, and the loss my children cannot begin to understand. They adored her, and had so, so much more to gain from their relationship. Over the last several years, I got what I always wanted. Her approval, her praise, and her friendship. I will never stop trying to make her proud of me.

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Lynn published a comment .

Our family has been so long intertwined with yours, Trina & Nathaniel & Lea & Miriam, that it is almost impossible to think of not having Shana as part of the mix going forward. I am so very glad that she was able to turn her life around. You know that we love you and that we wish we could be with you. Please know that Shana will always be in our hearts.

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Jackalyn Launius published a tribute .

I know whatever I could say will not ease your pain,but just know Allan and I are thinking of you both. Love Jackie and Allan

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Joanna Romano published a tribute .

One of my earliest memories is camping in Michigan with all of you. We wrapped potatoes in foil and cooked them in a sandy pit on the beach. I tried my first veggie dog. And later all wrapped up in blankets in the cabin with shana, she told us the beanie weenie joke ❤ random memory, but it has stuck with me. Rest in peace Shana

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Lea Grover published a comment .

Thank you, Joanna. That was so like her.

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Sara Jutcgeb published a tribute .

Dear sweet sister-in-law, I wish I we had had more time to get to know each other. I know you will be missed by your family, friends, and so many others who, like me, found you so easy to love. Safe journeys, little traveller.

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Sara Kitchen published a comment .

I couldn't edit. Sara Kitchen, not Sara Jutcgeb.

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Nathaniel Borenstein published a comment .

I will admit, your name gave me pause. :-) . I would like to edit my entry too, as the site swallowed every line break.

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Nathaniel Borenstein published a tribute .

To Shana, 1982-2020

The day you were born
was the happiest day I had yet known.
I held you in my arms, and believed
that I would spend the rest of my life loving you
and trying to protect you

Protecting you became hard in your wild later years
as we fought over everything and nothing.
I secretly admired and even envied your bravery and daring
but constantly feared the worst: outliving you

Though I have studied many religions, prayer has never come easy to me
I can't muster the hubris to ask favors or demands of the omnipotent
My attempts start and end with, "Thy will be done."
But I do not want to believe in a God whose will is so cruel.

As you reached mature adulthood our battles ceased
For the first time in over a decade, you said, hesitantly, that you loved me.
In the last few years we talked frequently, often for hours, never fighting.
We ended every call with "I love you"
and I dared believe this would end only with my death, not yours.

I will remember you in your early years
When you would choose saving paper over staying out of trouble at school
And in your later years
When one of your last messages to me was about a stranger who needed our help.
And for the way you battled your own demons and inspired us all with your victory.

I may some day stop crying
but I will never stop loving and missing you.

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Miriam Mora published a tribute .

Shana was so much a part of who I am and have been, growing up in her shadow, that life is unimaginable without her. I feel as though a part of myself is gone, which I was unprepared to lose, regardless of how often I have dreaded her loss. The hole she leaves behind is cavernous and Shana shaped, and nothing will ever fit it. My heart is breaking every day, every hour, and every minute I go on knowing she won't/can't call. I have no words for the suffering I am currently experiencing, but the pain is tremendous and unwavering. I am sorry she will never know my son, and that he cannot know her, and I grieve for the future without her in it.

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Anne Marie Borenstein published a comment .

I will never forget our niece, Shana. She burned with intense curiousity as a five year old, visiting Boston; she soaked in everything she could on a visit to Florida a few years later (we had to negotiate sleeping -- books beckoned). As an adult, her eyes missed little; she spent most of her energy connecting with others. Shana was fiercely true to herself, but full of empathy.. Her light burned bright, and I believe, still does.

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Tom And Cheryl Neuendorffer published a tribute .

This is how we remember Shana, sharing peace with a friend amidst the chaos of life . A beautiful, funny, intelligent and creative soul who danced whole heartily to the beat of a different drummer. Granted, sometimes it may have been with red wax lips and a bright orange wig but Shana was always Shana and nothing less. We will miss her and will keep her always in our heart.
All our love to her family at this sad time.

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Jocelyn Kitchen published a tribute .

Shana was a delightful person and I felt so lucky when she married my brother. I adored her and her family and wish we would have had more time to spend together. I will always love and miss you, Shana.
I will always love and miss you, Shana

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Jamie Whittaker published a tribute .

Shana Borenstein is the only one who would remember me I got to be her boyfriend for a short while I dated her when she was goth smoked clove cigarettes I remember taking her to drivers ed at Sears. Shana was my 2nd girlfriend we seen city of angels but didn't really watch the movie we made out. I will always miss you my goth girlfriend

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Kirk Kitchen published a tribute .

Shana,
I think we must have shared more than a million words when we were together. Thanks again for buying me all those socks and shoes, and other articles of clothing. You're still very much alive in my heart, and on my feet, and the rest of me, wherever I go. I have the rest of my life to remember all the good times we shared. So many beautiful memories. Unfortunately, I will have to buy my own socks and shoes from now on. But when I do, I'm pretty sure that your spirit will help me choose. You gave me a huge wellspring of good advice about many things, and sometimes I even managed to improve my life by following your advice. I don't imagine I will live long enough to follow all the good and practical advice you gave me, but at least I'll never run out of it.
Love,
Kirk

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Bree Boler published a tribute .

Shana was a beautiful soul and I loved her. My heart is breaking for her family. I will miss her. ❤

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Eric Patton published a tribute .

Shana was one of my earliest friends in Ann Arbor, and a loved one for decades. I'm gonna miss her for the rest of my life.

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Gordon published a tribute .

Rocky Horror Picture Show will never be the same......

I got sucker punched with this sadness today. Soo kind, Too young....

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Philip Yassenoff published a tribute .

I remember visiting Nick and Trina in Pittsburg. Shana, though so young, lit up the room, chatted with such a joyous presence. Her smile was a gift, as was she.

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