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About |
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| Name | Christopher Holmes |
| Date of Birth | August 19th, 1970 |
| Date of Death | December 18th, 2021 |
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published a tribute .
Dear friend and roommate, Chris occupies pretty much all of my fondest memories of being in grad school at McGill and living in Montreal. We shared a couple derelict apartments, only one of which Chris saw burn to the ground after I moved away and he stayed on to finish his epic dissertation. My life with Chris was more analog than digital. Pictures are all buried deep in boxes. But I did unearth a poem that I wrote when we moved into our first apartment. It was already elegiac when I wrote it nearly 25 years ago, and even more so now.
Renovations in the Dark
for Chris Holmes
Quitters from the last job,
we read the writing on our partners’ walls,
walked the long halls of long distance,
moved back to vanishing points.
Now we move
through unfamiliar rooms,
hold our fathers’ tools
in unaccustomed grips, bodies
unequipped with scars
and eyes even as levels.
There are phone numbers, names
messages, habitant scrawl on drywall,
beside the pale absence of a wall phone.
This we cover with layers of paint,
erase histories of the room.
We repair cracks in our four corners,
scrape paint from two old doors,
hang them haphazard
in this crooked room;
our floor lamps lean to the left
and to the right.
Everything teeters off-balance, cockeyed;
we’re too tipsy after midnight,
drywall knives and bottles in hand,
alternate swaths of mud and swills.
Our voices deepen with smokes and fatigue,
drift back to our aging fathers,
their eternal renovations.
We squint and square our four corners
as we talk of renovations
in the soft wood of the heart.
We lean to the left
and to the right.
Come morning our four corners
look better with lights off,
crumbling plaster hidden
in half-light of hindsight.
These walls with watermarks,
scars bubbled up,
reclaim their histories.
Montreal, July 1998
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published a tribute .
Chris, our memories of building our families are so closely linked together. From those early months of Gymboree to celebrating our 10 year anniversary as a “Gymbo”Family. Holiday traditions, countless birthday parties, visiting us at the hospital after Zara’s birth, play dates, your family selflessly coming to our aid when we needed it (taking care of our girls, feeding us, offering your support), your always gentle and kind way of checking in…so many laughs shared and happy memories made. We miss you. Our love for your amazing, precious, lovely ladies will always be there.
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published a tribute .
During a challenging recent time a few years ago, there was this uplifting message from my cousin, Chris, encouraging a lighter take on a rather trying situation I had experienced. I will not forget how much better I felt after reading that he too could see some levity in an otherwise difficult spot. Very much appreciated this and other moments where we shared — in TO & NY — a number of memorable stories. Thankful for this friendship with him across the kms.
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published a tribute .
Dr. Holmes was my first advisor at SUNY Maritime. He was kind and patient as I navigated being a brand new college student in an unusual college experience. He was the first teacher to truly challenge me, and refused to take my half effort writing I had gotten away with for years. He quickly learned my interests and offered me to switch advisors to his beloved wife Dr. Defalco to align better with my goals. We stayed close over the years and he was always on my team, even when it wasn’t easy. I’m thankful for getting the chance to know him, and he is missed.
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published a tribute .
It was such a pleasure having the opportunity get to know Chris though our kids at Guggenheim. He was such a warm, kind man and always so friendly. May his memory always live on especially through his beautiful girls.
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published a tribute .
So grateful to have known Chris and to have had the chance to be inspired by his commitment to environmental issues and to his beautiful family, and by his humor and unfailing kindness. The picture of him in my mind will probably always be of him laughing at something funny that Elissa said, a picture I know many people are lucky to share.
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published a tribute .
Gone but you will never be forgotten Chris Holmes. I will forever cherish our beautiful Gymboree crew, our special holiday memories and raising our beautiful families together 1 kid at a time! I will always remember you my friend and cherish these magical times with you, Elissa, Olivia and Marina. Love You Bud & Familia. - Rich Gavidia
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published a tribute .
<sigh> . . . .where do i even begin? Chris, I remember when you and Elissa first met; I remember meeting you in Montreal all those years ago, and all the times I saw you again since, in London, in Long Island, even when you both came to visit in Washington DC. And all the times I visited you, no matter where I had been, where I was flying in from or where I was going to, or how sudden my appearance was, you always made me feel right at home, and it wasn't (simply) because you were making a special effort tolerate Elissa's crazy ex-roommate; it's because you just had this naturally warm, kind, wry, knowing, patient, and easy-going presence. When I heard the news, it was such a gut-punch; I couldn't begin to imagine the DeFalco-Holmes household without you. But despite my grief, when I think of you, my first thought isn't sadness; what comes to mind rather is your smile and your generosity; the beers and laughs that we shared. I miss you and am so grateful for the time we spent together.
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published a tribute .
I have fond memories of you, Chris, from grad school years in Montreal. Your kindness, humour, and insight helped to make the city and the English Department a place of warmth and camaraderie, which I will always remember and appreciate. You had a gift for making dislocated newcomers feel comfortable and welcomed.
You were always ready to lend a hand: one snowy afternoon you sawed the legs down on my too-tall thrifted desk so it would not wobble on my apartment’s crooked floor. It was a terrific amount of work with nothing but a handsaw, but such a kindness.
I remember the great delight of when Elissa met you, and the happiness of your wedding day. And now I see so much of you in your girls, who carry in them the goodness and sparkle of their beloved father. You are gone too soon, and are much missed.
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published a tribute .
Chris was a dear friend. His range of interests sincerely reflects his depth of character; I know no one else who’s equally interested and invested in Shakespeare and Ice Hockey. He loved nature, especially the ocean. But most of all he loved and adored Olivia, Marina and Elissa.
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published a tribute .
I have such fond memories of Chris. His gentle kindness, his quick wit, his sympathetic ear, his keen mind... He was a good friend and I shall always miss him.
published a comment .
We first met on Christmas Day at our house in Manhasset and many times thereafter. He is unforgettable. May Elissa, Olivia and Marina
carry on his legacy.
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published a tribute .
I met Chris through Transition Town Port Washington. I greatly admired his empathy, dedication and passion for creating a more sustainable world which was second only to the love for his family.
We are all better for having known him and know his memory and kindness will forever live on in his beautiful family.
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published a tribute .
We are thankful for your friendship and the friendship of your beautiful family -- our first friends here in Port Washington. We are so blessed to have met you and are grateful for all the conversations we had that inspired us in so many different ways, not only as fellow parents, but also as clergy in town. Your kindness and gentleness, as well as your love for your family, our community, our environment and our planet have been such a gift to all of us. We miss you.
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published a tribute .
My brother Chris, I find so many things each day I want to laugh and share with you. You were always there for me. And I'm always thinking of our memories, big and small, (like using a yogurt truck to move furniture in NYC.)
published a comment .
I treasure those good times we had together over the many years that you, Nick, David, and John spent many hours together, and Jim and I with your parents. It's your wonderful laugh that I remember most. What a perfect way to be remembered, honoured, and cherished. Trudy Rising, on behalf of our family, Trudy, David, and John! Alas, I couldn't attach a photo!
published a comment .
I have fond memories of Chris as a kind and gentle person. His laughter will remain a part of my memories of Montreal and our community of young scholars.
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published a tribute .
We feel so lucky to have met the Holmes/Defalco family through a kids coding class at the PRC. Chris had an easy mild manner about him that put everyone at ease. He was clearly a devoted family man and I was always glad to run into him at various activities with the kids. His kindness and intelligence were obvious to us right away and it’s what we miss the most.
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published a tribute .
So many treasured memories from well over 30 years with our dear friend Chris. Since high school days in Toronto when Chris was first at LPCI with some of my childhood friends, then joined us at NTCI…
We were desk-partners in the NT orchestra’s viola section. We both performed well, but also realized we weren’t likely headed for musical careers. So our common love of a good laugh pulled us through many practices.
A few of us worked together at the Old Spaghetti Factory (‘The Spag’). We worked long hours there, but shifts with Chris didn’t feel like work at all.
And Chris was a founding member of annual gatherings at my family cottage, where he always offered a helping hand.
The list goes on.
As happens, we then spread our wings. But these unique high school roots kept us (all) connected. Chris and I visited through undergrad years, overlapped at McGill during grad studies, shared in weddings and ventures into parenting, shared in losses too. Even when much time passed, we could just pick up where we left off.
Chris, you will always be part of us. And ‘the gang’ north of the border will always be here for your family
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published a tribute .
Chris, I searched through over a decade's worth of photos on my phone and I only have this picture of you from a party at Karen's Bronx house in 2013; Gabriel was 2. This one always made me smile, not just because of Gabriel, but because in the background, you are laughing with Olivia snuggling your legs. (I'll attach a cropped picture with just the two of you after I write this.) You always had a kind, sympathetic patience with me, even when I complained to you about my students, assessments, or house-hunting. I hope you knew that I would have gladly returned those kindnesses. And at the end of every conversation, I remember, you would always wish, "Love to Charlotte and the boys." So, love to you, Elissa, Olivia, Marina, and to all who loved you. I miss you, dear friend.
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published a tribute .
Today, I celebrate the thousands of small, consistent and sometimes downright magical choices that my friend Chris Holmes made throughout his life, that will ripple outward for months and years. The journeys he inspired, the intellectual curiosity he sparked, the mirth that he tattooed on my heart when he had the kindness to laugh at my stories.
Rest peacefully Chris - not a moment was spent in vain.
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published a tribute .
Chris, I still hear your voice — rich with laughter — and I smile all over again. Thank you for your gentle support, your understanding and above all your belief that the boys and I would be okay. We are, and so much of that is because you helped us believe we would be.
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published a comment .
Chris- on behalf of all our neighbors on Bar Barash Rd , we miss you and rennet you fondly.
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published a tribute .
Chris, how lucky we were to have you as our neighbor and friend, even for a short time. Your love and dedication to your family was always apparent. When your children were around your eyes would sparkled with pride.
You had vision and were kind and i very much enjoyed having you on our team at Transition Town Port Washington. You are sorely missed.
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published a tribute .
Chris — I remember when I was very young, staying with you and Elissa in New York. Justin wanted a lovely American breakfast — waffles and pancakes and delicious food — but I was sure I wanted bagels. You came with me, while everyone else got to enjoy a delicious meal. You played catch with me in the park and joked that I’d laugh at you using a mitt with my cricket playing hands. You asked about my research, led me to believe in the power of forgiveness. You were my dad when I lost mine, and the best father I could imagine. I miss you; you taught me my illness was bearable and even beatable. Rest easy.
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published a tribute .
Chris, you are so deeply loved. It was hard to pick just one photo as there are so many over the years that represent all the hilarity we and “the gang” got up to. You were one of the first people I befriended when I moved to Toronto. Always kind, and quick to laugh, your smile, brilliance, and gentle way about you are deeply missed. It was a joy to grow up with you, and to witness what an incredibly loving husband and father you became. Your girls were your world. How lucky was I to have been in your orbit, though not long enough. Your memory lives on in all our hearts, and through the countless stories we have to tell. See you in the stars ✨
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published a tribute .
Chris was a super talented and very special person - always willing to help when asked. He did so much for our Department and for the College - on so many levels. I really loved his ideas for new courses and for curriculum. He will be sorely missed.
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published a tribute .
Chris was always someone you just wanted to be around. Kind, easy going, could talk about anything. He was a wonderful professor, advocate for vulnerable students, and steward for important causes. Smart and quick-witted, he always seemed to have a laugh and chuckle for you. When you spoke with him you were the only person present with him at that place and time. But I know more than anything else he was a loving father and husband. He would always talk about his girls, how they were growing up, and what they were up to, with pride. We need more people like Chris in this world. I know his legacy will live on in many ways.
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published a tribute .
Chris was one of the first people to welcome us into the neighborhood. He was so friendly and helpful, it really made us happy to be part of the community. He always has the best ‘Dad-jokes’ at the bus stop.
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published a tribute .
Chris, I always enjoyed "talking shop" with you, especially our chats about Raymond Carver. You were always helpful and patient whenever I needed an answer to a work-related question, and, of course, when my son John had a ton of questions about Canada. I miss you, my Canadian buddy!
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published a tribute .
So kind, so gifted, so clever and funny, Chris was a good person to the core. Only the good die
young.
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published a tribute .
Chris, thanks for being such a family man, always willing to help out. You are missed.
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published a tribute .
Chris, I will never forget your kindness and generosity. In any disaster, problem, or issue - you were always the first to jump in and ask "do you need help?" You were always there helping in the way needed. We will do our utmost to keep your kind memory alive for your daughters, family, and friends. You are missed.
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published a comment .
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