Pat getting Ice Cream at Jone's in Baldwin last May with Laika and our friend Will.

The night before, Pat and I crashed a college house party at one of the old houses in Eastown where we used to go to parties during college. All the younger college kids didn't even notice that these to random guys (Pat and I) were just hanging out in their crowded kitchen.

Pat just kept opening all the cupboards and asking, or shouting over the dance music, "Where's all the healthy snacks?! Don't they have any heeeeallllthy snacks?! I wish they're were more healthy snacks here!" The bit lasted for, as is the norm with Pat's bits, a long while. The college jocks didn't appreciate Pat's absurdist performance as much as I did. One other nerdy kid in the corner of the kitchen was also laughing.

Pat was and is such an important part of our lives.

When my boys were little and had to come to ICA with me, Pat was the one spinning them in chairs and catapulting them down the ramp on dollies. They always knew if Pat was there, they wouldn't be bored.

When I was scrambling to finish my son's elephant trunk for Halloween, Pat made a much better snout than I ever would have.

Pat was always the first over to race slot cars. We would play records of drag races while we raced. I told my wife Ellen this set was for the boys, but it was really for Pat and me.

He was there for our first annual third-floor pumpkin toss. We weren't really trying to hit him.

When I went to auto shows with my father, Pat was always the first one I would text with car photos.

We have so many Pat things in our house: a beautiful glass he had blown, an incredibly crafted wooden box, a toy boat that floats and puffs real smoke, and an awesome painting.

The best time I had during the Pandemic was grocery shopping for Pat each week. My son Theo got such a laugh from Pat and I bickering over accepting cash for the groceries. He put cash under our windshield wiper once. I turned them on as I drove off.

I'm not sure my boys realize what it means when someone passes. Maybe that's for the best for now. We will always miss his kindness and humor.

Love, Robert

I’d been chatting with Pat for a bit but we finally met up on my birthday in August. Later I would tell him that he was the best present I’d ever received. Not only was it true, and wildly cheesy, but sharing sweet sentiments with Pat was so joyful because when you reached his heart just so, he would let out a gleeful little noise. god he was sweet and caring and so tender.

Pat was the first man I took delight in wooing. I cut a bunch of gladiolas from my garden and brought them out to the farm. He was so touched he’d send pictures of them eating dinner together. funny, quick witted and cheeky. A few days later we were at rose and pat p’s pig roast in Detroit. It was clear in meeting all of patty boy’s buddies and hearing all the stories they dished about p-man, just how much they loved him. later that night after taking in so much sun and cider, pig and punk bands, pat said he was getting tired and asked if I wanted to head home or crash in the trailer. I turned to him and smiled, and we pulled our knees up behind each others backs, wrapped our arms around one other, and kissed under the twinkling lights, amidst the whirl of people dancing around us. It was electric. It was perfect. He was perfect.

I’m so grateful I got to love Pat and be loved by Pat. The morning after the pig roast we were cuddled up, and he started sharing all these little things he noticed and appreciated about me, and then he whispered, where did you come from? and looked at me joyfully mystified. I blushed and shared all the little moments that made me sweet on him, and whispered, where did *you* come from? patty boy smirked and tried to claim he was an alien. and I might have believed him as the morning sun was streaming in behind him, making his hair look like a fiery red halo, but I could feel that he was really salt of the earth. that he came from ann and joel, andrew and the twins, nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and so so so many beloved friends and artists. Loving pat meant loving his community and the achingly beautiful tributes to him make me feel more connected to a constellation of incredible humans.

There were walks around his land, hellos to the ladies, strolls to our secret field of golden rod, and lots of strategizing to get laika and daisy to the point of tolerating one another. The day the stars aligned and we all curled up on the couch together, he triumphantly proclaimed he was surrounded by “all my girls”, and my heart expanded into my entire chest relishing and reveling in our cozy pack.

Pat, I’d never experienced a love like yours. It was so honest and genuine that I felt secure in it, I trusted it. You taught me what it was to hold boundaries so that you could balance your love for yourself, for your friends and family, for your commitments to the land, laika, your home, and for me. You were so grounded in self; courageous and principled and vulnerable. And I so wanted to be there with you that I was finally willing to sit with and shed some deeply held fears so that I could be seen and loved in my totality. You saw magic in the world and in others and then you patiently sat with us and loved us until we saw it too.

I’m dreaming of your wild and wondrous heart. I miss you so much. I love you Pat. And love to all the stars in his constellation.

We were so fortunate when Ann agreed to take care of Erik as a baby when I worked. Erik was accepted by the boys as their “5th brother”. During this time, I got to know Patrick and all the boys. What a beautiful family for Erik to be included in. Patrick took a special interest in Erik and Erik adored him. We all did.

Patrick’s infectious smile and positive attitude were evident from the time he was a child. As Patrick grew up, these traits served him well as he overcame any adversity. When Patrick learned he had dyslexia, he had to attend Eton Academy to learn to manage life with dyslexia. He tackled this obstacle with his characteristic determination. During his time at Eton, he would sometimes come to our house after school. We would sit in the kitchen sharing a snack and some laughs. Not many teenagers would want to sit around chatting with their Aunt. I treasure those moments.

We got to know him even more when he came skiing with us in Colorado so Erik would have a buddy to ski with. Patrick was an amazing skiier and even broke the course slalom record but he’d patiently wait to ski with his younger cousin and never made Erik feel he was holding Patrick back. In typical Patrick fashion, he’d take part in silly skiing games and made the trip so much fun. He even retrieved the ski pole Erik dropped from the chairlift by skiing down a double black diamond slope to get it!

Patrick, we will treasure these special memories of you and many more. You enriched our lives and we will always love you.

Patrick indeed gave life to everything and everyone he touched, even an old car that should have been lost. We were able to enjoy an extra connection with Patrick these past few years when he wound up with our car, years after we turned it in, across states, against all odds. While it wasn’t the miracle we had so prayed for, it was a miracle and we feel comforted knowing that our old car brought him joy when he needed it. I always immediately stopped what I was doing when I received a message from Patrick, proudly showing us a newly washed and waxed car, showing it loaded up as it drove out of Philly, showing us pictures of him coasting at 65, always telling me how happy it made him. While our family’s connection with Patrick goes far deeper than this old car, we feel lucky to have shared that extra piece of joy with him.

You are forever our Jetta boy Patrick, and so very much more. There is a bonus easter egg with your name on it in heaven.

Patrick far exceeded any expectations we had as an uncle to our children. Jonah and Colette just basked in his presence while he sat with them, read to them and made them laugh. He came to visit us twice this past year and during his stay we did more in 48 hours than we had in months. Patrick wanted to do it all… and he did. He climbed up the sand dunes with Jonah on his shoulders, found all the Petoskey stones and helped us hussle everyone into the car to catch the sunset. The last time I was able to spend time with Patrick, our conversation ended in him comforting me and encouraging me. So many conversations with Patrick were like that now that I think back. He was an incredible listener and selfless even on his hardest days and during his last days. Patrick was an incredible person and I am so thankful I was able to know his love and see his beautiful impact on all he encountered.

I will miss you Patrick. You were a gentleman with a big and gracious heart. As Godfather to Clare, you taught her qualities that will last for her lifetime and beyond. You enjoyed life as it should be. Attached are pics of Patrick teaching Clare how to drive his tracker, and Clare teaching Patrick how to drive her race kart. I don’t think you were listening though, you set track record of first and only black flag during practice! You were flying, I shall never forget. Rest In Peace Patrick, the Lord has plans for great souls like yours.

Looking through old photos, I remembered every Friday Pat would send me a picture of his feet crossed and posted up with a caption “TGIF”. It became a tradition every Friday. Pat always kept in touch and made an effort to hang out every time he was back in Michigan. Pat was an inspiration for me to become an Eagle Scout; he made it look cool! Pat eagerly helped me get a job at Charley’s. He was a selfless person. Watching Pat work with his hands was a thing of beauty. I loved the way he did everything with finesse; anything he did he looked like a seasoned vet doing it.

Pat, I cherish all our memories and the lessons you taught. Thank you for poking fun in the loving way you did. Thank you for showing me how to be a better person. I miss you. Love you Pat.

While I have many memories of Patrick, one of my latest and perhaps favorites is when I visited him most recently. It defines what it means to have had Patrick in my life. Patrick walked out of his house to meet me and threw his arms around me and hugged me with his one of his Patrick hugs. He stated in my ear- “The sun is out, you’re here, I’m happy.” For me, the rest of the world faded away and I was on “Patrick time.”
So now- How do you pay tribute to a man who has been larger than life to you? To love and be loved by Patrick has been a privilege that I know many of us share. It is to experience the purist form of love- simple, natural and uninhibited.
I cannot think of a better Godson or Godfather for myself and Clare. He had a way of loving on us and sharing his time like no other person I know.
Over the last 5-ish years, he has taught us all how to face obstacles. In true Patrick beauty- cancer may have effected his body but not his spirit- his soul- his essence. I’m positive that he has inspired others along their own terrible journeys to fight harder, to engage more completely with life, to be creative or seek our passions and most of all just to love.
I guess the best way to pay tribute and to honor Patrick moving forward is to love each other as he did- simply, naturally and uninhibited.

My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and given a couple months to live earlier this year, he was ready to walk away from it all and refuse treatment. Pat offered to talk to him to tell him what a great quality of life he’d had throughout his years of treatment. He’d never met him but got him on the phone , cracked a bunch of jokes in Pattyboy fashion, and convinced him to take the treatment. My dad might not be here today without the kindness and wisdom of our dear sweet Pat. His light reaches further than any of us can even imagine. Shortly after Pat was first diagnosed, I heard Talking Heads’ Naive Melody playing and for the last 5 years it’s been Pat’s song. I listened to it what feels like a hundred times yesterday and wanted to share it here so that maybe when you hear it next you can think of him too. I feel blessed to have “shared the same space for a minute or two” with him. What a beautiful thing it is to know how many people exist in this world who love him beyond end.

Here’s a picture of Pat ashamed of our scrabble game at one of his treatments.

https://youtu.be/fsccjsW8bSY

My heart is broken at the passing of Pat. He was a part of my Homeroom of 8 kids for so many years in Michigan becoming one of my own children before I had my own. His smile lit up the room, he had a brilliant sense of humour and showed compassion and kindness, always thinking of others. When I left Eton Academy he made me this card. Warms my heart that I still have an original 'Patty Cake' piece of art. 

In later years, as he followed his passion in art and grew into a man, all his warmth, humour, strength and kindness never left him. A surprise in the post several years on was a 2 page letter from him thanking me for all I had done for him. The reality was he did far more for me as a teacher.

Over the years we kept in touch. My own boys grew up knowing of him  and I told them how lucky I would be if they turned out to be anything like him. We formed a firm friendship and helped each other through the ups and downs of life.

In the last 5 years he amazed me with his strength, courage, humour, resilience and continued compassion for others whilst he battled cancer. We could all use a bit of Pat in us when things get tough.  He always sent me messages filled with hope no matter how hard life was becoming.

My heart goes out to his Mum and Dad, brothers, family, friends and his much loved dog Laika. The world has truely lost an outstanding man. Your Eton family loves you.