Vegeta Fajita

Pj  Philliam

PJ Philliam, 28, of Jerusalem, Israel, passed away on April 27th, 2021. PJ was born on January 1st, 1993, a son of an IDF general in charge of missile bombardments of Palestine and some woman. He grew up a happy young man until one day his world changed forever. His mother, no longer able to live with the guilt of killing Muslim children, tragically took her own life when he was 11. PJ was the one to find her body and suicide note. On that day, he swore he would avenge his mother and defend his homeland against the Palestinian scourge whom he blamed for his mother's death.
 
Over the next decade, PJ dedicated himself to military studies and practiced at the gun range every day. He became an aide to his father's "Death to Palestine Task Force" when he was 16 and joined the military when he was 18. For years he had dreamed of this day, the day he could start slaughtering Muslims indiscriminately, but now that it had arrived there was a sense of anti-climax. The inaction of the Israeli government and overly peaceful leader Benjamin Netanyahu frustrated him. He wanted nothing more to be in the field killing the Palestinian devils, but he was stuck in the barracks and on the training field more often than not. This frustration and his inherited racism one day led him to create a podcast called "We Are Assholes," one that he hoped would be a propaganda tool to push his goal of slaughtering all Muslims, but little did he know that this podcast would change his life forever.
 
While disguised in blackface to hide himself from enemies of the state that would try to stop his new venture he met people who made him realize that the world was not always the awful, warlike place he believed. He met a young man named Andrew who gave him hope, who made him realize that laughter could cure the hatred burning within him, and a villain named Dave who pretended to be PJ's friend in order to steal his podcast from him. When the day came that Dave's treachery was revealed, he was devastated. Dave was supposed to be PJ Philliam's friend, but it was all a lie. Dave had stolen the Patreon and attempted to seize the podcast RSS feed as well. But using his military experience, PJ sent his best Jew friend Val Dewar and his co-host Andrew on a mission to get back their RSS feed. Infiltrating Dave's compound at night, they discovered that all along he had been a Muslim working with Hamas, the Palestinian terrorist organization. Val and Andrew recaptured the password to the RSS feed after a firefight and began to search for Dave, their primary target. But Dave was a step ahead of them. When the pair found his room, he had a gun to a woman's head. She was white.
 
"Let me go!" he said, "Or I will shoot!"
 
Israeli forces could never have the death of an innocent civilian on their conscience, so they had to allow Dave to escape rolling down a ramp to the outside while they untied her hands, only to realize that it was not a woman at all, but a twink! This is how the We Are Assholes team met Vegeta Fajita. PJ rehabilited Vegeta from his traumatic imprisonment and rape, and after a month he was well enough to become a co-host on WAA. With the old man energy gone and Vegeta providing youthful twink energy the podcast soared to new heights that had not be anticipated. This helped PJ get over the betrayal of Dave and even led to him starting a new Patreon for the podcast, one that soon was making money to fund the extermination of the rats in Gaza.
 
But tragically, only 6 months later,  PJ was found dead in the house he shared with his wife and children. He had been murdered by Dave as the wheelchair marks on PJ's front lawn clearly showed. He died proud of his podcast which had come so far and trusted his friends to keep it going in his name. 
And so we mourn.

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Pj Philliam Obituary | Keeper Memorials