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Mae-Anne DeGuzman
Ramon Castillo Carandang
November 19th, 1955 - April 16th, 2020
November 19th, 1955 - April 16th, 2020
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Cris Maralit
At first glance, Ramon would appear like a tough nut to crack, seemingly aloof, indifferent and warily shielded in his own comfort zone. During the numerous family events and gatherings in the past, he would oftentimes appear jolly and engaging, crack jokes and oft-repeated anecdotes and exchange banters. But in an instant, he could draw back, put on a serious front and wear that characteristic slight scowl on his face that would betray that his defense mechanism had been touched off. Hidden behind that jolly facade was his sensitivity and serious mien that was so deep to fathom. One had to draw him away from his comfort zone and meticulously probe into his emotions to uncover and know the real Ramon. From the first time since I came into the family and met Ramon many years ago until his untimely demise recently, I would confess that I had not fully fathom the real Ramon--brother, brother-in-law, uncle and great uncle in the Carandang family. Not because we were not close, but more so because we unknowingly had the same emotional makeup that was sometimes difficult to unmask. Like Ramon, I had the tendency to draw back, retreat into my comfort zone and lay out my invisible security shield to ward off negative vibes. Even during those intimate and formal family gatherings that are the hallmark of the Carandang family, Ramon and I almost always had that slightest hint of formality between us. I might be mistaken but I sometimes felt it was partly because of my military background, and the fact that I came into his sister's life somewhat later. On my part, I had sensed his sensitivity and I didn't want to step farther into his uncharted and unfathomed territory. In Batangueno parlance, nagkakasilungan! But make no mistake about it, because truly love and respect the guy like a real brother. But one most important trait that I had learned and seen from Ramon was his fierce love and loyalty to all members of his family. He was a great provider to his own family, and kindhearted, doting and supportive to his siblings, nephews and nieces. That fierce and unflinching love and concern for his loved ones was manifested during an unforgettable moment in Manila many years ago. In one of his trips back to the Philippines then, Ramon stayed with me in Camp Crame and used my Officers Quarter. There were times that he would patiently wait for me in my office before we went out for dinner or a few drinks at the National Press Club. Even during our drinking sessions, Ramon was his usual self, interchangeably gregarious and reserve at times. Two days before he was to fly back to Baltimore, we again had dinner at the Press Club. He was strangely formal from the outset. After a few rounds of beer, Ramon really turned serious and with some hesitation, told me that he had one personal favor to ask from me. "Kuya, may pakiusap lang ako sa iyo. Mahal ka ni Ate at importante ka sa kanya. Sana maging masaya kayo at di na siya masaktan ulit." (Brod, I have a personal request from you. Ate loves you and you are important to him. I wish her happiness and that she would not be hurt again). That one single moment, Ramon was the true epitome of a loving and devoted brother, with all sincerity and devotion to his sister. With a firm handshake and a light clink of our glasses, Ramon and I sealed our gentleman's pact. That was the tender side of Ramon that I would always cherish and remember.
Mae-Anne DeGuzman
Eulogy for Tito Ramon Ramon Castillo Carandang was born on November 19, 1955. He was born and raised by a single mom in the Philippines. As a son, his dedication and love for our Lola (his mother) was immense and unremarkably unconditional. Without her knowledge, he sold newspapers, riding ‘jeepneys' and buses to help with the family finances. One time, he slipped and fell as he took off a moving vehicle as he lost his balance. But this didn't stop him. He continued to do his business, as if nothing happened. Later, as an adult, even after he had his own family, he remained supportive as he continued to provide financial assistance to Lola, without any hesitation. This was him and how he expressed his love: steadfast and unconditional. My aunt Josephine, his sister, had a special memory when they were kids. This is what she shared: "As children, we were born a year And 8 months apart, but we were baptized on the same day. Mon and I were always together in every struggles. We were both too young to understand nor knew what to do with what was happening around us. As I look back, perhaps the reason why my brother kept everything inside especially when he gets hurt is because that is how he learned to survive and beat the odds growing up. As an older sister, I ended up protecting him before he gets in trouble. I did not realize until we became adults that he remembered all of these until when he found out after about my first emergency room incident. At that moment, I felt how deep his love and concern was to me when he said "Sana Ako na lang" (literally, I wished it would have been me). He said: "I should have protected you, the way you have protected me growing up" As a Father, he was RJ's biggest and most important mentor and Ramyr's best friend. They were inseparable, they loved to laugh, teased each other, and marathon watched telenovelas. He was the best buddy, but he never lost his touch of being the best father too. He showed his love for them through actions. He was a good provider and made sure that his family has roof over their heads, a home to spend peaceful moments together, food on the table. They were not lavish or fanciful, but are absolutely comfortable. He was good at managing his finances. He may be simple but would not mind spending money especially when it comes to giving his children the best. In fact, when it was time for his eldest child, Tina to come to America, he sought the best immigration lawyer to ensure approval of the petition. He acted when he knew it was for the good of the people he loved. He always exuded with love, joy and sense of pride for his children Tna, RJ and Ramyr. Uncle/Tito Ramon may come across as ‘kuripot' (stingy) to those who does not really know him. The truth is, he was simply conservative in managing their finances to ensure that his family will be fine. He took pride when he finally purchased his own house. Every spring break, we would always invite ourselves to his home in New York and spend time with him and his family. There will always be a day that we will just hang out at their house to catch up and relax, eat the NY faves, his treat of course, and stay up to watch the ‘telenovelas'. Initially, I was surprised that his wife, Tita Myrna addressed him as ‘Mang Ramon' (Mr. Ramon) when I first met her over 25 years ago. Throughout the years, I witnessed how there will be exchanged of ‘banters' as they ‘teased' each other endlessly. Sometimes it went as far as making Tita Myrna ‘teary eyed'. You see, ‘Mang Ramon' was very conservative and never showed any ‘PDA' at all. But deep inside, he was truly sensitive and kindhearted. He showed his love and affection in action. He was a husband and partner that was always there for Tita Myrna and her family throughout life challenges, good or bad, you can count on him. I finally understood that to Tita Myrna; ‘Mang Ramon' was simply a term of endearment. I always say, life is simple yet amazing for the Carandang's in New York. Yes, simple but it works and they are happy! Every time we visit them or get to spend time with them, I always feel the love, respect and support they have for each other. Both, Tito Ramon and Tita Myrna raised two amazing men. Just like their father, they are both soft spoken, committed to their faith, resilient, good at saving money, and definitely "Mr Suave, guapos". I remember, in one of our spring break trip to NY, RJ and Ramyr were teasing each other on who has the most savings! And while these two Carandang boys go at it, I see this big smile then followed with a wide grin on Tito Ramon's face, his way of saying, Yes, those are my boys! As you all know, Tito Ramon has always been part of my life. Like him, I also grew up with a single mom. Lola, my grandmother, and her children, Josephine, Ramon and Jay were my mom's support system and partners in raising me and my two other siblings. Out of all of them, Ramon was the strict disciplinarian of all. My only recollection of not having him around was when his first child Tna, was born, when he migrated to the US, and eventually after he got married and raised his own family. When I started my life in America, he made sure, once again, that I am safe and supported me through all the challenges and craziness in chasing the dream and surviving New York City. When I had my own family, he made sure that he came to all the important ‘celebrations and occasions'. Again, as a man of few words, he had this ‘unspoken' bond with me, that no matter what, we will always be there for each other and our children. He was more than an uncle, he was a father, a brother and a dear friend. My dearest ‘Tukmol', I will miss you. NEW YORK will not be the same. But I will hold you and all the memories TIGHTLY within my HEART. You are for sure one of my hardest goodbyes; thank you for all the love and kindness, until we meet again. As I end this eulogy, I would like to share a short poem from my cousin Tna, his daughter. My Heart yearns for you, as I cry in vain. It's tears that show it all, that i miss you in pain. Although our worlds are different now or is that just how it seems For I see you when I close my eyes because you're always in my dreams I know you're up in heaven and looking down at me And when I look up at the stars I know that's where you'll be. I love you Pa!
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