Patrick Hensley

Pat Hensley and I first met in 1962, when he was 13 years old and I was 9. Both of our families had recently moved to STX, and the four Hensley brothers and the five Etre sisters had get togethers. I still find it hard to believe my parents let us girls hang out downstairs at Hensley's Little Princess house while they were partying upstairs. One of my earliest memories of Pat is on the patio at our house in Cotton Valley when he was teaching us the words to some of our favorite island songs, "Com leh we go Suki, com leh we go..." And I'll never forget watching Pat jockey at the horse races. Who wouldn't fall head over heals for him? Cupid's arrow struck soon afterwards, and the life-long love affair started between Pat and my sister Patty. I guess my parents figured it was alright for them to be together if we sisters tagged along. And since Pat had a car and a boat, we had a blast going to drive-in movies, sailing to Buck Island, and partying on the beach at Swartout's. We loved it! Pat was so much fun to be around, and his generosity was unwavering. He always worked really hard; you didn't see him hanging out at the Town Wheel after school because he was always working. "Work hard and stay with it" Pat said in a recorded interview with Paco last year. Then came the late 1960's and 70's when Pat would take us sailing to Buck Island on his boat Trident with a marijuana flag waving at the top of the mast. Later, Pat sailed Sandpiper with Patty and Chick from Florida to STX impressing us with his navigational skills and oneness with the ocean. We sailed many times to the BVI's, and Pat knew every anchorage and coral head up and down Drake's Passage. He had us flying in the spinnaker, washing our hair with salt water, and learning how to sail and respect the ocean. Those who were on board will remember the time that a storm hit us head on sailing across the Sound. When Pat ordered us to take down the main sail during the heavy winds and rain, I resisted saying there was nothing to hold on to. I will never forget his answer, "Hold on with your fucking TOES!" And that was the motto for Pat's life - hold on and never give up. To the very end, he just kept saying he had to keep going. Through thick and thin, Patty was at Pat's side. I watched the adventurous roller coaster ride high and low for many years, jumping on with them now and again. "Don't sweat the small stuff" became their mantra, and it was all small stuff after Pat's parents were murdered. What Pat and Patty went through to overcome so many obstacles in their lives became ongoing lessons in survival to me. Pat was a true warrior who never gave up the fight. The best times were when we traveled together, as there is no doubt that the Hensley's planned the best trips ever. Pat and Patty took Jose and me to carnival on STJ and sailing in the BVI's for our honeymoon. Very soon after, we started having children, and life transitioned to the next level. We saw how hard and long Pat had worked at his recovery, and Scott was the gift for his serenity. Pat and Patty were model parents for us, especially Pat. He was more involved with Scott and Kevin then I had ever seen a man be. He was in on every decision from breast to bottle and from crawling to swimming. He was totally present for his sons. They researched everything so well, that we just followed their lead with raising Paco and Tony. Best of all, Pat and Patty worked hard to establish and maintain strong and loving relationships with people. This precious quality is so evident in the outpouring of love and support for Pat during his illnesses and for Patty's tireless caregiving. The trip that stands out the most is the one to Italy in 1997 for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary and Lynn and Vic's marriage ceremony. Pat and Patty planned and made this trip happen from start to finish. Fourteen of us toured Italy together, and the stories have become family folklore (Sorry, Tony, for almost leaving you behind with the gypsies!). Pat was very happy and healthy and generous and proud to be part of this great family. It was a blissful time for him. And Pat never stopped making plans to bring the family together. There were the holidays in Belen, the ski trip to Lake Tahoe, the Dude Ranch and Pagosa Springs trips in Colorado, the BVI catamaran trip, and finally the National Parks trip from Montana to Las Vegas. Pat loved to travel, and he managed to see most of the world. The travel photographs on his memorial website are a tribute not only to Pat's adventuresome nature, but also to his willingness to share his life with others. Thank you Pat and Patty. I will cherish the many great conversations I had with Pat over the years. He was always open to talking about anything from mind to heart to soul. We could keep it light and laugh a lot or go deep and contemplate together. I'll never forget the time on STX when he was considering a date for the stem cell transplant in Seattle. We knew the procedure was risky. He told me then that he had taken a lot of time to come to terms with his mortality. That profound moment stayed with me, as I saw him transition through his health battles with the utmost grace and appreciation. Pat helped so many people in so many ways. He was super resourceful and wise about who, how and what he invested in. His advice was always well grounded and thoughtful, even when it was hard to hear. He would tell it like it is. I remember once when we were playing tennis at Rio Communities in Belen, and I made some excuse for my bad serve. Pat said, "You don't really HAVE a serve." Yes, he was right. He was so right wanting to spend his last days on STX. He knew more than we did that this decision was the right one for his family, especially Patty. The love and support from Pat's island community and family have been truly outstanding. Those of us who were not there with Patty, Scott, Kevin, Becca, Lynda and Jason when Pat passed away are very, very comforted knowing that we were not needed. The friends and family on STX had every detail covered, and for that, we are eternally grateful. All of Pat's wishes were granted. Many thanks to the island community! Pat and Patty's love bond is truly story book material. We haven't said enough here about the important role Patty played throughout Pat's life. Thank you Patty from the bottom of our hearts. You have earned sainthood many times over for your soul qualities - love, faith, will-power, self-control, and unselfishness. It has been humbling to be with you these past years. Sharing your joy as well as your suffering has made us better people. If anyone reads this far, I appreciate you. One last piece I want to share is when I said goodbye to Pat. Jose and I visited Tampa three weeks before Pat passed. It was difficult. I am very thankful that Jose stepped in to offer Pat his service during these last days, doing things that I couldn't. The night before we left, on November 15, I was alone with Pat. We held hands for a long time in silence. I told him that we were on our way to Brazil until next spring, and that I was glad we had spent this time together. Then I told him, "You don't have to talk. I know you're in there. You can't fool me!" And for the first time during our visit, Pat laughed out loud. Rest in peace, brother. We miss your stories, your laughter, and your guidance, and we will always love you. Pam and Jose Perez