Kathy Millhouse

I met Kathy at a closing dinner 22 years ago when I started at ARCS as an junior underwriter and she was heading the closing department. Kathy was a quick read - she was brilliant, kind and hardworking. The more she rose up the ranks, the more she used her greater position to advocate for working women in the company and in particular, the working mothers. She did this decades ago, well before the MeToo Movement or the Pandemic when working from home became the norm. Over 15 years ago, a colleague in Nashville had a baby. She lamented to Kathy that she was expected to be in the office till 5:30, and with traffic on road, by the time she arrived home, this new mother could only spend a little time with her baby before the baby went to sleep for the evening. Upon hearing my colleague's predicament, Kathy said,"You tell Hartley that you will work from home from 5:00 to 7:00, otherwise you will not see your baby. And you tell him that you talked to Kathy already and she is okay with it." Kathy was the "go-to person" if you had a work issue and needed a solution to a problem in your $30MM transaction and she was the person you could confide with your uttermost personal predicament without negative repercussions. More importantly, Kathy treated everyone equally; she served this role for junior new hires as well as department heads. People came to talk to Kathy because she was straight talk with a heart and soul. She was honest, supportive, quick and smart. Whenever Kathy visited the San Francisco office, we would chat in her office or walk across the street to grab lunch, which for Kathy was usually a sandwich on white bread. Eventually, she convinced the servers to make her a peanut butter sandwich on white bread. During one of those visits, I confided to Kathy our struggle with infertility. Kathy listened patiently with kindness. When our baby did arrive, Kathy came to San Francisco and we celebrated with drinks and a fancy dinner. When dessert arrived, Kathy handed me a white box tied with a navy blue ribbon and a "Jack & Janie" seal sticker. Jack & Janie's kids clothing was the equivalent of the robin nest blue Tiffany box, you knew you were going to get something good! Mila, our daughter, received two holiday dresses and was the best dressed baby at many parties thereafter. That was quintessential Kathy. She was the busiest person at Citi, yet, she made the time. As the years passed, we would share stories of our families and life. Kathy would talk about her European trips with her brother and Chris and Ashley. As Chris and Ashley became older, it was college, studying abroad meeting their partners followed by their marriages. I could still see and feel the love and pride in Kathy's voice when she showed me pictures of their weddings. When I was ready to leave Citi and was looking for a new job, who else would I confide in, but Kathy. Again, after patiently listening to me, Kathy said, "I want you to have a new job that is better than the one you have." Then she strategized, "If you talk to X, X for sure is going to tell Y. No, you need to talk to so and so and I will make the introduction for you." Leaders tend to either excel in intellect or interpersonal skills. Kathy is the rare leader who had both assets - she was the heart and brain of the Citi's Affordable Housing Group. She is irreplaceable and she is greatly missed. The last time I was with Kathy was in Downtown SF. We were meeting for dinner to celebrate my new job. If you knew Kathy, you knew that you will not go to the latest fad restaurant with experimental foods, no restaurant with foods where blow torches were used to cook the food and no restaurant where you cannot pronounce the ingredients in the dishes. You were going to a place with meat, potatoes, beer and wine. Kathy emailed me to meet her at Morton's Steakhouse by her hotel. "Honey, we are celebrating! I already ordered champagne." Kathy said when I arrived with a twinkle in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. That is how I will remember my friend and mentor and what a privilege and gift I have had knowing her.