Janet Louise Vittitoe

What about Mom?

What about a Mom who gets in a taxicab, nine months pregnant, so she can travel from her home in Santa Ana to Camp Pendleton Marine Corp Base to give birth to her first child (me)?  Her husband was in Korea fighting the war and she had no family in the area that September of 1950.  It would be six full months before she would see her husband and he would meet his first child.  She described these times to me as a joyful period in her life because I was a happy baby.  I cannot help thinking that she was the happy one and I just went along for the ride.  She then proceeded to have my sister, Gail, three years later and Todd in another two. She was the classic 1950’s stay at home Mom.  She took this career/calling/circumstance/what everyone was doing or whatever it was, very seriously, meals had to be healthy and balanced long before that was in vogue.  Our meals were almost the ideal grouping of fruits, vegetables, and rotating meat/fish/chicken.  I was never keen on liver night, but pizza on Sunday was fantastic as we sat down to watch Disneyland.  There was no soda or candy in our house, soda would rot your stomach and candy would rot your teeth we were told.  To emphasize her point, she told me a story about a friend of hers from her hometown of Altoona PA who worked at the Pepsi plant and destroyed her stomach drinking too much soda.  Guess what, it worked, I didn’t drink sodas.

Mom talked very little about her childhood and the early days before she met Dad.  We kids have tried to put the stories together and have come up with some interesting facts.  It seems she did not want to stay in Altoona PA after high school and went off to nursing school in New York.  That is where she met Dad apparently coming out of bar on 5th Avenue.  Following that meeting they got together often and so enjoyed their time together that Mom apparently missed enough curfews to get kicked out of Nursing School.  There is, most likely, a lot more to that story that we may never know.  I recently learned from Gail that Mom did some modeling in New York, who knew?  As I was reviewing important papers, I came across an article about my parents wedding, the Altoona paper stated that Mom was a Bell Telephone Operator – none of us knew about this little jewel.

What about Mom?  After marrying Dad she moved nine times in nineteen years before settling in Carlsbad, CA.  This never seemed to bother her, she just adapted to the new environment seamlessly.  She was extremely diligent about taking care of her family, it was her number one job and priority.  Something changed after us kids left - it was “me” time.  She was addicted to her golf game and played multiple times per week, loving the time with her friends and a little competition.  I asked her one day, out of curiosity, how many times have you broken 100 in the last fifteen years? “Maybe four”. OK, I thought, it was for the love of the game (over 100 is not a great score).  Mom made it clear that she was not going to be a doting grandmother, she had done her job and now it was time to live it up.

Dad passed when Mom was only 67, still young and with lots of life to live.  She continued playing golf and added two to four nights a week of Ballroom dancing.  Her social calendar was packed with activities and deep friendships.  Yes, she had a couple of boyfriends along the way, but each was incredibly special to her and she was true to each one.  She never felt sorry for herself and made each day count.  I am reminded of how she connected to people by looking them in the eye and paying close attention to how they were doing.  This has come back to me through the many cards and comments I have received.   

What about Mom?  She was someone to learn from, on how to live a life, joyful and connected.  Make your life the way you want it to be, you are in charge, was her way.  Mom, thank you for the great example of how to live and enjoy life, we love and miss you.   You will be with us forever, save a spot in heaven for us all.

This is, I hope, just a start to telling your stories about our Mom, Janet Louise Vittitoe.  Please write them down and have some fun, she would have liked that.