Victoria Iyabode Olugbode (Nee Oke)

Hello, Mummy. It has been forty days since you left. I did not want to write anything initially because I thought it will make it less real. But now I write because I don't want you to be forgotten. I miss you and the thought that you are gone is literally the first thought I have when I wake up. I have played the what ifs and how could I have not seen this coming. I have two extremes either I am very quiet or I talk about you. Some people tell me I am not a baby anymore, but that does not make the hurt less painful. Moyin says I should pretend you are here or you are on a trip and are coming back. I have not found what makes it okay because you are still part of my family. It is still Grandma's room, Grandma's bathroom. I guess I am still grieving you and it is very depressing. I am very grateful for the time I spent with you. I always felt it was a privilege and that is what got me through the "Mi o wa si America wa ku" talks you had at the end. I guess things happened the way you wanted. I would have loved a goodbye video call that day. I would have loved so many things but I can't blame you for not wanting to be in this world particularly now. Please don't forget us Mummy because we will not forget you. Thank you for everything you did for me and my kids. Thank you for being their Grandma. Thank you for being my Mummy. Thank you for caring, for nuturing, for being dependable. Thank you for your influence even when I thought I am definitely going to do something else. I hope you are having the time of your life in heaven, it seems that way because you didn't look back when you left. I am trying to figure the new normal without you, but it is a process. Your passing shocked a lot of people even some you might not have expected to. I thank God you did not die younger. I thank God you got to celebrate one more birthday. I really do not want to stop writing but I will continue my conversations one on one. Your life meant the most to us and now you are gone your passing means that I need to live up to the child you raised me to be with God's grace. I love you, I cherish you and you are forever part of me, part of your grandchildren. E sun re Mummy, Orun re. Love, your daughter, Folake.