Doug Kereczman

I posted this on Facebook and thought I’d share it here too. My best friend Doug Kereczman died Friday night in a hit and run car crash. I met Doug in 2008 through my then boyfriend Aaron Dutson. We started out hating each other. I thought he was brusk and he didn’t seem to care for me. He had a crush on Aaron and then I swooped in and started dating him. We clashed. But in the way life can surprise you he grew to be the best friend I’ve ever had. Long after my relationship with Aaron ended Doug and I stayed close. The more time we spent together the more in focus Doug became. What I initially had written off as his brashness I came to see as his lighthearted forthrightness. He was honest and he was principled. But he never took anything too seriously. He was always good humored and he recognized the absurdity in life. He was highly intelligent but never an elitist. A self described nihilist, he found joy in what life had to offer even while recognizing its many inequalities. He understood me. I understood him. Over the years Doug became very close friends with my brother Sam and my sister-in-law Megan. He watched as my nieces Sage and Jude arrived and grew. He adored my mother Sharon Van Gorder and relished their conversations about her life as a surgeon and her earlier life as a social worker. He admired Sharon. He was family. Doug and I became each other’s person. Other relationships came and went but we stayed constant. Our bond grew. Our understanding of each other grew. We could always rely on each other. I was the person he could call at 2am to come over when life threw up a challenge. He was the person I could talk to about anything. He counseled me on relationships, jobs, family, addiction. And he never judged me. He told me his perspective. He encouraged me to make better choices. He called me out when I needed it. But he never tried to change me. He supported me. The last few years have been the most tumultuous years of my life. At times it felt like I had lost everything and everyone. I made many mistakes. But Doug was there for me. He gave me a home when I had no where else to go. We lived together for months and talked deeply about life, the world, and the people in it. We helped each other navigate difficult times. I survived because of him. Doug shared the weekend before his death with me and my mom at the coast. I am thankful we had so much time together before he passed. We had three beautiful days in Seaside. We talked about life, work, relationships, heartbreak, and the difficulties of moving on. He was happy and he was sad. It was life. But it was a healing and restful trip. Doug was patient. He was kind. He was forgiving. He loved his family. He was fun. He loved misfits. He was open minded while still self assured. He was smart. He was funny. He was unique. He was profound. He was goofy. He danced like nobody’s watching. He loved to talk to anyone. He was interested in people and what made them tick. He liked jokes. All kinds of jokes. He loved a good time. He loved to laugh and to make others laugh. He loved and was loved. And he will be deeply deeply missed.